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A Serious Note ... and Men and Women's Brains

ON A SERIOUS NOTE:
I usually try to stick to the humorous at this blog, but the situation in Haiti is dire, and my heart breaks for the people there. In an effort to help, I'll be donating $1.00 to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints' Emergency Response Fund and/or to the Red Cross for every comment that's made on this particular blog article. The offer is good from now until Feb 5, for up to a total of $200. Let me know in your comment if you have a preference on those two charities.

Now's your chance to support the Haitians, even if you don't have the spare cash to donate yourself! Multiple comments by the same person will only count once, but do feel free to tell your friends and everyone you know so they can participate and their comments can be counted.

AND NOW ON TO THE FUNNY STUFF ...
I'd intended to post a humorous article today that I'd written, but then I ran across this video. It really had me laughing, and the world is so shook up right now that we all need a laugh, so I thought I'd share.

Oh, but before I forget ... I also have a contest going on right now. So, after you watch the video, click and read how to win coupons for two free boxes of General Mills cereals!



Don't forget to comment here to help Haiti and then go check out my General Mills coupon contest!

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No More Fear of Flying ... by C.L. Beck

It seems that since 9/11, and the advent of terrorists trying to blow up one of our airplanes every other month, flying has become a scary prospect. There's been the Shoe Bomber, the Underwear Bomber, and who knows what else. I'm waiting for the day when we hear about a Nose Hair Bomber, with plastic explosives up his nose. (If you're a mad bomber, please pretend you didn't read that as I don't want to be responsible for your nose exploding.)

In the meantime, I have just the thing to calm your fear of flying ... a pilot who's willing to protect his passengers. Hope you enjoy the video below as much as I did.





(Disclaimer: I always preview any video I put out here, but am not responsible for written comments at YouTube in reference to the video. Any off-kilter person can comment at YouTube, at any time, and it's my suggestion you don't read the comments as they may contain thoughts or language some might find upsetting.)


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The Dude Ranch

Every so often I run across something funny that's just too good not to share. Having said that, I hope you enjoy the short anecdote below. I thought it was a hoot—maybe because I could see some of my relatives saying the same thing as the woman in the story!




Original painting by Charles M. Russell, image from Wikimedia Commons.


The Dude Ranch
(From The Good Clean Funnies, contributed by Thomas Ellsworth)

My wife and I went to a "Dude Ranch" while in Texas. The
cowboy preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or
English saddle, and she asked what the difference was.

He told her one had a horn and one didn't. She replied, "The
one without the horn is fine. I don't expect we'll run into
too much traffic."

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Words ... by C.L. Beck




Words are a writer's stock-in-trade, and for that reason it's essential to understand the nuances of the written language. For example, in reference to the trunk of a car, some call it the trunk and others call it the boot. Face it, that could get confusing if you actually have boots in the boot. To help dispel the confusion of words in general, as well as for your enlightenment and edification ... okay, mostly just for fun ... here are a few lesser-known definitions of familiar words.

· Arbitrator ar’-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s.

· Avoidable uh-voy’-duh-buhl: What a bullfighter tries to do.

· Baloney buh-lo’-nee: Where some hemlines fall.

· Bernadette burn’-a-det: The act of torching a mortgage.

· Burglarize bur’-gler-ize: What a crook sees with.

· Counterfeiters kown-ter-fit-ers: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

· Eclipse i-klips’: what an English barber does for a living.

· Eyedropper i’-drop-ur: a clumsy ophthalmologist.

· Heroes hee’-rhos: what a guy in a boat does.

· Left Bank left’ bangk’: what the robber did when his bag was full of loot.

· Misty mis’-tee: How golfers create divots.

· Paradox par’-u-doks: two physicians.

· Parasites par’-uh-sites: what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

· Pharmacist farm’-uh-sist: a helper on the farm.

· Polarize po’-lur-ize: what penguins see with.

· Primate pri’-mat: removing your spouse from in front of the TV.

· Relief ree-leef’: what trees do in the spring.

· Rubberneck rub’-er-nek: what you do to relax your wife.

· Seamstress seem’-stres: describes 200 pounds in a size two.

· Selfish sel’-fish: what the owner of a seafood store does.

· Subdued sub-dood’: a guy, that works on one of those submarines.

· Sudafed sood’-a-fed: bringing litigation against a government official.

(Definitions received in an email. Author unknown.)


Until next time,
~ Cindy

ldshumor.blogspot.com
bythebecks.blogspot.com
Twitter.com/cindybeck

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