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Help Me Up My Clod Score ... by C.L. Beck

By C.L. (Cindy Lynn) Beck

Tags: Yahoo! Voices, Wil Wheaton, writing, Angry Birds, hooters, clout score




About a hundred years ago, I hatched a brilliant plan. Oh, all right, it was really only 2 years, 2 months and some odd days, and the plan was mediocre, but this is a semi-true story which means I get to say what I want and disguise it as truth.

But ... already I've digressed.

Anyway, so, a hundred years ago (minus 98 years), I conceived of a brilliant plan to make it rich on the Internet. None of you have ever thought of that, right? No visions of blogging your way to a head of hair like Donald Trump's, or dreams of making a YouTube video that goes viral and you end up being mentioned on Wil Wheaton's website.

Yes, Wil Wheaton. You know, the kid that played Wesley Crusher on Star Trek, eons ago. Yup, he blogs about being a geek, in language that my mother would not condone, and makes money off it. I'd give you the link but I'm jealous that he's making moolah and don't want him making any off me.

M. O. O. L. A. H.

Don't ask me why he's making money. The article I read was about hooters and I missed the humor. Or the reason why the site could get a multitude of hits and provide an income.

"Russ!" I hollered to my hubby as he sat working at his desk in the other room. "Do you remember Wil Wheaton? Why would he make money blogging about owls?"

There was a long, poignant pause. I thought Russ was strolling down memory lane, to the days of his youth when he played with Star Trek toys and pretended to blow up planet Alpha Beta Krappa. And then I remembered we were already married when Wil Wheaton was part of the cast, and how I had put my foot down and said that a 30-year-old man who slept with a woman at night (that would be me) did not need Star Trek toys.

I peeked in around his door. "What are you doing?"

"Hmm."

I stepped closer and looked at his computer screen. I scratched my head. "Why are those birds beating up on a couple of pigs?"

Russ's eyes never left the screen. "It's called Angry Birds, and the pigs are stealing the birds' eggs."

"I don't get the point. Pigs can't climb trees, so how can they steal bird eggs?" I scratched my head again. (It's not that I have lice. I mention scratching my head as a writing technique so you'll know I was perplexed.)

And then I realized that it didn't matter. No, not about the lice, but about pigs. We live in a world of make-believe, where pigs can't fly but can climb trees, where a viral video does not carry germs that give someone a cold, and where under-employed actors can make money by blogging about owls.

By now you're probably all wondering what this has to do with my brilliant plan from yesteryear. Well, since I didn't realize one had to be a star the caliber of Wil Wheaton to make money off the Internet, I started writing articles for Associated Content. Which just recently became Yahoo! Voices. And may eventually become something else. Hopefully not Articles Submitted for Free.

My goal was to make money off my writings. And to reach what is known as a high Clod Score. Oops, typo. I mean "Clout" Score. Don't ask me how it works, or why management came up with that concept, but I think it had something to do with the submitting authors making it rich when pigs fly.

So far, I've made a grand total of approximately $707 and .2348765 cents there. Sadly, I'm not sure which of my articles earned the .2348765 cents, but I'm sure it was of Pulitzer prize quality. Or close.

All of which means that over the past 2 years, 2 months and some odd days, I've earned roughly $1/day. I'm sure my pay is so low because I haven't reached the coveted Clod 9 level. If I could only reach Clod 9, I'd make a whopping 15¢ more per thousand page views. Yes, friends, that means every time someone reads one of my articles (all articles are only one page in length, even if they're the size of War and Peace), I get an additional .015¢ more per article than I got before reaching Clod 9.

Or is that .000015¢?

I'm not sure. Math was never my strong point. And apparently writing isn't either, based on my $1/day.

Here's the thing. Now's your chance to prove that underpaid writers are just as important as under-employed actors who blog about owls. Head out to my Yahoo! Voices page and click open one of my articles. Hey, it would even be great if you read it! But, if you're not in the mood for reading, look at one of my slideshows with purty pictures. Either will work. I need 488 additional page views to hit Clod 9 before 2012 rings in.

2012. That's like ... really, really soon. So don't waste any time, because we all know that under-employed actors should not make more money at writing than underpaid writers.

Oh, in case you're wondering, my hubby has explained that Wil Wheaton was not writing about owls. He was writing about Hooters. You know, the restaurant that features waitresses with big ... ummm, I'm trying to think how to say it nicely ... chests. Bosoms.

Ah ha! The fog clears, and it becomes evident to you and me how Wheaton had lots of hits on that article!


Happy Holidays... by C.L. Beck

From our little house to yours ... wishing you
a happy holiday season and a merry Christmas!

~ Cindy


Photo © Cindy Beck

"Circle of Sisters" Call for Submissions

Posted by C.L. (Cindy) Beck
Tags: Call for submissions, story shout-out, JoLyn Brown, Circle of Sisters


Photo © Paiviti


A good friend of mine, JoLyn Brown, is compiling true stories for a book titled Circle of Sisters. Here's what JoLyn says about her project:

Every day, ordinary women who belong to the Relief Society Organization put their hands in the Lord's and go to work. These women rely on personal revelation to get them to the right place at the right time, and every day, miracles are happening. I know that you have seen these miracles in your own lives. I know they have changed you for the better... My goal is to create a collection of these stories.

Since starting this project, I have been amazed at how much clearer the purpose of Relief Society Organization has become to me. As I searched my own life for experiences that changed me, I have seen how even in times when I thought I was giving the service, I received so much in return. It seems our lives are interconnected, with each person's story overlapping and reaching into another's. Our power to make a difference is remarkable and with the Lord's help, we can each experience first hand what it feels like to be a part of something incredible.

Please keep in mind that I will not be able to offer any payment for your stories, but this may be a chance for you to get publishing credits which is always great.

JoLyn has a publisher who's expressed interest in the concept, and if you're interested in sharing your story with her, click here for the submission guidelines. The deadline for submissions is January 14th, 2012.


$25 Sam's Club/Chex Mix-change Winner

$25 Sam's Club Gift Card and Chex Party Mix-Change Winner

Tags: Giveaway, Chex Party Mix, Sam's Club, MyBlogSpark



It's time to announce the winner of the $25 Sam's Club/Chex Mix-change Giveaway. According to the random generator at Random.org, the winner is ...

JC!

Congrats, JC, and enjoy your $25 Sam's Club card and your Chex cereal.

(Thanks to all who entered! Disclosure: The $25 Sam's Club/Chex Mix-change Giveaway has been provided by Sam's Club and Chex through MyBlogSpark. However, my opinions of the event, of the companies involved, or the quality of the products mentioned are my own.)


A Sunny Holiday Giveaway

Posted by C.L. (Cindy Beck)
Tags: Sunny Holiday, giveaway, Zazzle

Mug-Everybody Needs a Friend mug

If you could choose any career you wanted, what would it be? If I couldn't be a writer, my other chosen profession would be that of a very rich philanthropist. (You noticed I added "very rich" into that phrase, huh? :o)

Why would I choose that? Because I love to help others by giving things away. And what could be more fun than having so much money that you had a grundle of greenbacks to give to those that needed them?

Even though I'm not a rich philanthropist (well, not yet anyway), I'm still lucky/blessed enough to have the opportunity to give things away occasionally. Right now, my friends and I are holding a fun, $20 gift certificate giveaway until Dec 28. The winner gets to spend $20 at any of the 6 shops listed below. It's easy to enter ... just go to A Sunny Holiday Giveaway and follow the instructions!

To give you a taste of the fun things you could purchase with your winnings, here's where you'll be shopping ...

Hang In There mug

Misty Dawn Photography
Misty Dawn Seidel is a nature photographer who's photography includes wildlife, domestic animals, macro photography, sunsets, abstract, landscapes and more. If it catches my eye, she photographs it. At her shop you can find a variety of gifts printed with her photos. You can see more of her photos here.




A Bit o' Sunshine
Ruthi Cox is an artist, photographer and poet...and she combines all three in the products she designs in her shops at CafePress and Zazzle. Her words dance with the art and pictures, encouraging readers to live life to the fullest.

(The winner can shop at either store, but will need to choose between her CafePress or Zazzle shop).



Send Out Cards
Send Out Cards is a company that makes it easy and inexpensive to send cards to loved ones. The $20 credit you can win covers the cost of setting up an account plus 15 regular cards (non photo type ) or 10 photos cards with postage, if you choose to spend it there. To see all the great variety of cards they have, just click the "Send Free Card" link. (Don't worry, you don't actually have to send a free card...but hey, it's free, so why not!)



Teddy Christmas Mug pink Santa hat &Pink ribbon mug

By the Becks
This shop has a wide variety of fun gifts to make you smile. They also have touching breast cancer awareness gifts, and the family which runs this shop donates 5% of the proceeds from each of these to Susan G. Komen Foundation and other breast cancer charities.



2012 Sunflowers Calendar calendar


Wheatgrass Designs
Wheatgrass Designs features the photography of Oz Girl. She grew up in Akron, Ohio, then moved to Rural Kansas, where many of the photos in her shop were taken. Her photos are eclectic, ranging from bright and vibrant flowers to western and rural countryside themes.



Lady ornament
Scribbleprints
If you've been following this blog long you know Scribbleprints is where I share my artistic side (and my funny side too). The features my wild scribble art and humor, plus just a touch of water color painting and photography. I have shops both at CafePress and Zazzle.



COUPONS TO HELP YOU SHOP FOR THE HOLIDAY!
This giveaway doesn't end until after Christmas, but you can shop right now at these shops and save with the following coupons:


There are multiple ways to enter, so head over to A Sunny Holiday Giveaway now, and get your entries in!



$25 Sam's Club/ Chex Mix-Change Giveaway

$25 Sam's Club Gift Card and Chex Party Mix-Change Giveaway

Tags:
Giveaway, Chex Party Mix, Sam's Club, MyBlogSpark



Yes, oh yes, it's time once again for Chex Party Mix! However, let me tell you with sincere conviction that any time of year is Chex Party Mix time in my book. Honestly, that's how I've felt since my first taste of it when I was a youngster!

So ... have I told you before how much I love the stuff? Well, of course I have, and I even gave you a recipe my mom introduced to our family many years ago, back when the earth was young and giant animal species roamed the planet. (You'll note I did not say, "Dinosaurs roamed the earth" because that would get me in trouble with Mom.)

At any rate, I can not say enough good things about Chex Party Mix. To top it all off, Chex and Sam's Club, along with MyBlogSpark, are offering the chance to win a $25 Sam's Club Card and a box of Chex in the Chex Party Mix-Change Giveaway.

What Chex Says
Searching for ways to mix up this year’s holiday bash? Then why not host a Chex® Party Mix-Change, a modern spin on the traditional cookie swap with a delicious and savory twist! With several Chex Party Mix recipes that can be made in just 15 minutes and Sam’s Club stores providing you with everything needed to host a fabulous party, there’s no excuse to not call on family and friends for a celebration.In fact, with all of the extra prep time being saved, you’ll be able to spend more time mingling with your guests this year than working in the kitchen.

How to throw the ultimate Sam’s Club Chex Party Mix-Change: Visit ChexPartyMixChange.com for even more party-planning tips and be sure to also check out Sam’s Club, your one stop Chex spot that has everything you need to throw a Chex Party Mix-Change!

A few handy links:


Giveaway Rules for Sam's Club $25 Gift Card and Chex Cereal
Runs from Dec 5 to Midnight, MT, Dec 11 2011.

For one entry: Leave a comment on this blog article. If you can't think of anything to say, share which of the ChexPartyMixChange.com recipes you might like to try. (I'm thinking the Chex Pumpkin Pie Crunch sounds soooo yummy, and the idea of a party mix-change instead of a cookie ex-change sounds like a blast!)

For two additional entries (making a total of 3): After leaving a comment on this blog, click on this link and leave a comment at the bottom of my story, "Fast Chase (Story about a Police Office and a Sheltie)." It's written under my pen name, Cindy Lynn. Don't forget to mention you came there by way of my blog so that you get credit. Should the Internet act funky and you're unable to leave a comment, you can verify you were there by sending me an email at cindybeck dot author at yahoo dot com, and telling me the name of the officer.

If I don't already have your address, please leave your email, Twitter, or Facebook address here so I can contact you. The winner will be announced the week of December 12.

(Thanks for entering! Disclosure: The Chex cereal, Sam's Club gift card, giveaway information, and prize pack have been provided by Sam's Club, Chex Party Mix, and General Mills through MyBlogSpark. However, my opinions of the event, of the companies involved, or the quality of the products mentioned are my own. If for some reason there is no winner, or I can not get in contact with the winner, I will redraw or give the prize to charity, at MyBlogSpark's and my discretion.)


Winner of the Seventh Generation Dishsoap Giveaway

Posted by C.L. (Cindy) Beck

Tags: Giveaway, Seventh Generation, MyBlogSpark



It's time to announce the winner of the Seventh Generation Dishsoap Giveaway. According to the random generator at Random.org, the winner is ...

Schmidty!

Congrats to Schmidty, and thanks to all who entered.

(Disclosure: The Seventh Generation information and giveaway have been provided by Seventh Generation through MyBlogSpark. However, my opinions of the event, of the companies involved, or the quality of the products mentioned are my own. If for some reason there is no winner, or I can not get in contact with the winner, I will redraw or give the prize to charity, at MyBlogSpark's and/or my discretion.)