© Cindy Beck, 2008
(Keywords: Cindy Beck, seeds, watermelons, Sugar Baby melons, sewer ponds, humor, Latter-day Saints, LDS, yourLDSNeighborhood.com)
Time flies when you’re having fun. It seems like it was just days ago that I wrote about the universally held kid-truth that a swallowed watermelon seed will sprout in your tummy.
Oh, wait. It was days ago.
The “babymelon” myth existed long before we were all swallowing seeds, and it seemed certain to persist long after. Probably because the theory behind it is at least partially confirmed for women when they give birth—going through labor does feel like you’re trying to move out an eighty-two pound watermelon.
Despite the fact that I’d delivered my own 7 lb., 12 oz., “babymelon” thirty-some years ago, it was still interesting when I recently found that time-honored watermelon legend debunked. “Listen to this,” I said to my husband, Russ, and shaking the Sanpete Messenger newspaper so that it would quit falling over limp in my hands.
I read aloud, “Spontaneous veggie garden sprouts near sewer ponds.”
“Hmm,” Russ said, without even turning away from the football game on TV. He’s very good at multi-tasking; I’ve even seen him walk and chew gum at the same time. Although, not without tripping.
“According to the paper,” I continued, “there’s huge produce growing in an unattended garden near Ephraim’s sewer ponds.” I mentally congratulated myself on giving an amazingly accurate synopsis of the article’s first line by only changing one word. “Tomatoes, cantaloupes, watermelons …”
It must have been the fact that I changed that one word that caught Russ’s attention. He turned to me and said, “What?”
I scanned the article, mumbling to myself until I found an appropriate quote. “It says, ‘Nothing was planted, and it’s not being watered, but the stuff just grows.’”
A twinkle appeared in Russ’s eyes. “I hope the ‘stuff’ that’s ‘just growing’ isn’t the kind of ‘stuff’ that you usually find in the sewer pond. You know what they say, the big chunks float to—”
I cut him off as a mental image of big, growing chunks of … um … veggies … came to mind. “The Department of Public Works thinks the garden is a result of seeds being flushed through the water system.”
Russ scratched his head. “You mean all those years we believed watermelon seeds sprouted in our bellies, and now we find out they sprout at the sewer pond instead?”
“Apparently so.” I paused, read the next line, scrunched up my nose and said, “Eeeewww!”
Russ looked at me, perplexed, and then a glimmer of understanding flitted across his face. “They didn’t … did they?”
Nodding and making a Mrs. Yucky Face at the same time, I pointed to the paper and said, “They took one of the monster melons to the city meeting and invited council members to have a slice.”
Russ’s dark eyebrows shot up. “It probably tasted just like sh—”
“You shouldn’t use words like that,” I said, cutting him off, and covering Corky Porky Pie’s ears. “The dog might hear.”
“What words?” Russ asked innocently, turning back to the TV and flipping through channels with the remote. “All I was going to say was it probably tasted just like Sugar Baby melons.”
What's playing in my head: Happy Birthday (because my birthday is coming).
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