I love witty people. Although ... I do know some individuals who have only half as much wit as others, which pretty much makes them half-wits. In the wide world of the web, I've run across quite a few of those. However, I'm pleased to announce that none of my readers fall into that category.
At least, that I know of.
Speaking of wit, I recently ran across a quote that I loved and wanted to share with you. It was credited to Ronald Reagan. Since he's no longer around, I can't very well ask him if he actually said this--but, it sounds like him, and so we'll proceed on that assumption.
President Reagan stated: "Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying."
Yeah, I know. It takes a minute to sink in, but when it does, you have to laugh.
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"A Witty, Funny Quote" © C.L. (Cindy Lynn) Beck
Tags:witty quote, funny quotes, Ronald Reagan
We've been told it over and over again--create secure passwords. How? By having x number of characters, numbers, capital letters, etc., etc., etc. It drives us nuts! How are we supposed to remember ninety million passwords, all comprised of different characters?
Well, here's an unconfirmed (unconfirmed="I didn't bother to check it out.") report, by an unknown author, of one woman's version of a secure password.
During a recent password audit by a company, it was found
that a female employee was using the following password:
When asked why she had such a long password, she rolled her
eyes and said, "Hello! It has to be at least eight characters
long and include at least one capital."
Don't ya love it? She has to be blond!
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Tags: secure password
"How to Create a Secure Password" © C.L. (Cindy Lynn) Beck
Photo © gzigzik
I've always considered myself an emergency preparedness/live off the land type-of-gal.
Not the kind, however, who would strap a bandoleer across her chest and live in a compound in Montana. Unless, of course, the bandoleer added inches to her bust measurement and came in "Positively Pink." Then ... maybe.
I'm jiggy with picking fresh fruit. As long as I don't have to bottle it. And going fishing is fun ... as long as I don't have to clean them.
Oh, and hunting! I'm definitely into hunting. Well ... with a camera. And as long as there's indoor plumbing and Hostess raspberry-filled donuts nearby. No, not near the plumbing. Near my mouth.
On occasion, I've even read the Mother Earth News. And then considered making dandelion wine according to the magazine's directions. Minus the wine aspect, of course, since I don't drink--which pretty much just makes it dandelion water. Nice, yellow water.
It reminds me of an old joke ...
Joe's sitting in his hospital bed, looking at his breakfast of scrambled eggs, toast, and apple juice. As he opens the apple juice, he accidentally knocks the plastic cup for it off the tray.
"Dang," he says, with a grimace. "I'm hooked up to all these monitors and there's no way I can reach that."
Sitting next to the breakfast tray is the small plastic container for the urine sample that's needed that morning. Joe thinks for a minute and says, "Well, the specimen cup is clean, so it won't matter if I pour the juice into it."
A few minutes later, the head nurse walks in, picks up the cup, eyes it critically, sets it back on the tray, and says, "Hmmm, we're looking a little cloudy today."
To which Joe says - as he picks up the cup and puts it to his lips -"Well, we'll just run it through again!"
And now that I've totally erased your longing for either dandelion wine or apple juice, I will bid you adieu. In the meantime, drop off a comment and tell me if you've ever had the urge to live off the land.
[Author's note: This article is dedicated to my friend, Andrea--at IGetReady.com--who really and truly is a "live off the land" type-of-gal. But if you're thinking about recruiting her for your compound, there's no point in it--she would never even consider wearing a bandoleer. It detracts from the machete on her hip.]
(Stop! Don't leave yet! If you enjoyed this bit of humor, written by a gal who's version of living off the land consists of visiting Five Guys Burgers and Fries, then sign up for my newsletter in the sidebar on the right. That way you won't miss out on future fun. )
Tags: emergency preparedness, survivalist, dandelion wine, apple juice, live off the land, Five Guys Burgers and Fries, Hostess donuts
"Emergency Preparedness/Live Off the Land" © C.L. (Cindy Lynn) Beck
|Photo © Bubbels|
We walked into theater # 65 at the Cineplex to see it. Ok, not really # 65, but that number would have been appropriate because there were old people sitting everywhere. I whispered to Russ, "Oh, my gosh, how come all the people here are senior citizens?"
Russ looked at me, perplexed. "Huh? What?"
I tried again, louder. "Everyone here is over 65!"
Some ol' guy sitting two rows below adjusted his hearing aid and said, "What did you say, honey?"
I shushed him with a finger to my lips. Russ looked at me and said, "What did you say, sweetie?"
I repeated the question five times, finally deciding that Russ and the ol' guy in front had more in common than age. They both needed a hearing aid.
The movie was a riot. I laughed in all the right places. Mostly, where everyone else laughed. I'm not sure that twenty years ago I would have understood some of the old people jokes. It's not because I'm old now, but because my sense of humor is more refined ... right?
As we left, a sudden kink developed in my hip causing me to hobble down the stairs. I hoped my eyes would adjust to the weird lights on the stairwell before I fell on my head. An ol' hippie lady sitting near us seemed to have the same trouble. And I think I recognized the peace symbol earrings she had on ... I have a pair just like that from high school. I didn't tell Russ, though.
There's no doubt I'm too young to be an oldster. I'm still spry as a spring chicken! And I could convince myself of that ... if they hadn't willingly offered the senior discount when we bought the theater tickets.
Author's Note: If you enjoyed this humor article, written by a gal who's slightly-older-than-a-spring-chicken, then sign up for my newsletter in the sidebar on the right. That way you won't miss out on future fun.
"Best Exotic Marigold Hotel for Spring Chickens" © C.L. (Cindy Lynn) Beck
Tags: Marigold Hotel, senior discount, senior citizens