Cindy's Brain Joins the Circus

By Cindy Beck

Why is it that when I open a blog composition box, my brain runs away and joins the circus?

Really, it's not that hard to write a blog, is it? Nowadays, almost everyone does it ... including Bo-Bo, the Chimp. I'm proud to say that even my seventy-three-year-old mother, who's definitely smarter than Bo-Bo, writes a blog.

Wait. Look at that last sentence. Is "seventy-three-year-old" really supposed to have that many hyphens? It looks like someone took a knife and stabbed it in multiple places.

I'm thinking it's questions like "What hyphens go where?" that cause my knees to shake and my insides to feel like they're filled with live gummy worms when writing something for the Internet. After all, what if I hyphenate something wrong? Or my spellcheck runs a mock and lets all kinds of pore lee spelled words through?

For many years, I chugged along in ignorant bliss believing that if I made errors on a web page and posted it, I could delete the page seconds later. Poof ... with one keystroke, all my grammar sins would be forgiven.

But, nope.

Some time ago, in a heart wrenching moment of discovery, I learned that in a galaxy far, far away there is actually an archive that's been keeping track of posted web pages—you know, the www.SomethingOrOther.com type pages—since the Dark Ages of 1996.

Alas and alack, yes.

I'd list the address of the archives, in case there are some who want to check the accuracy of my facts, but I intend to delete this entry right after I post it, in case it contains errors and is being archived.

Besides that, I can't remember the address. Along with being a talented, fat-fingered typist who can fool spellcheck with sound-alike words (also known as homophones), I have a memory that's like cheesecloth tied in a knot. Or not. See? Another homophone.

It's lucky for me that I have such a sieved memory, because otherwise I'd be out there moaning over my misspelled words, poorly placed images, and text that looks like it was written in China.

Still, despite the dangers of making a bloggy mistake that makes me look like I'm related to Bo-Bo the Chimp, I'm here today, posting more words to grieve over in the future.

Why? Because after a vast amount of research (ten seconds just now on the 'Net), I'm thinking the robots that do the archiving can't access this blog. I'm not sure what that means for Bo-Bo the Chimp, but for me it means I'm safe as long as I'm here.

And that makes me feel a lot better. Therefore ... let the miss steaks beguine and the chips fall wear they Mae!

(Author's note: This blog entry was all in fun, but the archives are real and if you're interested in accessing them, you can find them here: http://www.archive.org/web/web.php


Winner of last week's contest:

The winner of the book, "The Sunflower Club" is Shirley Bahlmann! Wahoo, Shirley, way to go!


What's playing in my head: Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite, by the Beatles.



ali cross said...

ROFL Cindy ~ very funny :)

Triple Nickel said...

This-was-a-very-tru-two-lifee-blogg. Bytheway, (isn't that someones name?) I really like gummy worms (is that supposed to be hyphenated?). Especially at the Zoo!

Dave Beck said...

Am I the 5th comment? :)

Roberta Kieliger said...

Not sure I like being compared to a chimp but if BoBo lived closer maybe I'd contact him the next time I have trouble with my blog.:)

You may be in Utah and I'm in Maryland but still would not attempt to do it without you. Thanks for all your help with the blog. Ma

Slamdunk said...

Relatives are a tough audience--I am glad that none of them read my stuff. Nice work

Rachelle Christensen said...

You are a hoot!
I'm so excited that Mormon Mishaps and Mischief will be available before Christmas! That is so exciting! I can't wait to get my copy. :)

Melanie said...

VERY funny. I've been laughing so hard my son is asking to read your post. You are as entertaining as Bo-Bo. Next time I see you I'll throw you some peanuts!

What does it say about us worms who don't even keep a blog?

What do I care? I am at Disneyland where we pay to see a well dressed mouse!

Unknown said...

Congratulations, Cindy, you're the winner of this week's give-away on my blog at Not Entirely British :-)

I'm posting this to your Facebook page, also, since that is where you mentioned the contest. Just didn't want you to miss the good news.

Please go to my website contact page HERE and send me your email address, which I can forward to Lisa J. Peck who will mail you the prize.

Thanks for taking part. Enjoy!

Kathi Oram Peterson said...

Cindy, this was great! I've felt the same way many times. Oh and that archive...yikes!

Cathy said...

Somebody is keeping track of what is being written. Dang. I was hoping all those spelling mistakes would just kind of evaporate, or blow away like ashes in the wind after they'd had time to smolder for a while. My hopes are dashed.

Sande said...

Great that you have a brain that can run away. Mine disintegrated around baby number 8 or 9.

Needless to say, I relate on an even playing field with baby ten and possibly that chimp who gets out all those blog posts with ease.