Roast Groundhog

Fun Stuff and Humorous Stories by C.L. (Cindy) Beck

Not long ago my alter ego, Cindy Lynn, published an article that seemed pretty funny. Well, maybe not exactly funny, but definitely interesting. All right, maybe not interesting—possibly more like bizarre. At any rate, I knew you wouldn't want to miss it so here it is, in all its glory ...

Roast Groundhog
By Cindy Lynn

Photo © Reinhard Kraasch, Wikimedia Commons

Everyone knows what Groundhog Day is, right? Well, maybe so, but then again there might be a few people living under rocks who don't, so I'll give a little info about it and afterward give a recipe for roast groundhog.

What's that, you say? A recipe for roast groundhog? Yup, no need to adjust your hearing aid, you heard me right ... a recipe for those who want to run out and chase a groundhog around until they catch it, and then (gulp) roast the little critter.

First, though, a few facts:

When is Groundhog Day?

Feb 2, every year, rain or shine ... and the weather really does play into the whole Groundhog Day celebration.

What's Another Name for a Groundhog?

A whistle pig or a woodchuck.

Does that Famous Goundhog on the News Have a Name?

Yup, Punxsutawney Phil, and he has his own website called PunxsutawneyPhil.com. However, because everyone wants to know about the furry fella and his site often can't keep up with the traffic, you can also see pictures of him at Groundhog.org.

What's the Scoop on His Shadow?
Legend has it that when the groundhog steps out of his burrow on Feb 2, if he sees his shadow there will be 6 more weeks of winter. If he doesn't see his shadow there will be an early spring.

There may be a few who are wondering where I came up with a recipe for roast groundhog, and it's a long story. To make it short, though, I have friends whose college years as a married couple were quite lean, and they actually caught a groundhog and cooked it. Thanks go to Sandy H. for giving me the basics for the following recipe—although, I have to say that the running commentary is all mine.

And now for the cooking instructions ...

Recipe for Roast Groundhog:
Find and capture a groundhog. I'm not sure how you do that, so my advice is to look for an old one that can't run very fast. A bald one would be nice, too, so that you don't have to actually skin it. I have no clue how you kill it and since I'm an animal lover, I'll leave that to your imagination. In my opinion, however, a .44 magnum doesn't seem like a particularly good idea. That is, unless you want ground chuck.

Ground Hog
Olive oil
Mrs. Dash seasoning
Salt and pepper
Onions (quartered)
Potatoes (quartered)
Carrots (peeled and sliced)
Water or broth of choice

Rub the skinned ground hog with olive oil. Try not to cry as you think about how he could be foretelling spring instead of being the main attraction at dinner. Sprinkle seasonings on him and place in a roasting pan. Place the onions, potatoes, and carrots around the groundhog. Add a cup of water or broth to the roasting pan. Cover and bake in a slow oven (275-300°) until groundhog is tender and vegetables are done, adding more water/broth as needed.

Serve on a platter, making sure not to tell the kids they're eating Punxsutawney Phi's cousin. And if the roast is tough, try a slow cooker next time ... or maybe even a roast beef disguised as a groundhog.

The million dollar question at this point is ... have you ever even seen a groundhog? (Outside of TV, that is.) Drop off a comment and let me know.

------ © C.L. (Cindy) Beck------


Carol L. said...

lol lol Cindi,
Your commentary was the best. I can't imagine catching a groundhog, let alone "slow cooking" the bugger. I'm not a big meat eater and this would definitely cinch it. lol lol
Thank God during the lean times in my youth I lived in the city. lol And we definitely don't want to go there in regards to the animals there. lol
Carol L.

Oz Girl said...

Weird... I saw them all the time in Ohio, esp alongside highways. And I know that Chester (one of Ringo's chocolate Lab friends who lives in PA) has a running count of groundhogs he has caught. For some reason, don't see as many out here in the wilds of Kansas! Go figure.

I don't think, no, I KNOW, I wouldn't be interested in cooking one. Blecchhh.

Cathy said...

My husband used to tell the kids that our guinea pigs were part of the food storage. I, however, never went as far as to come up with a recipe for them. Cindy has quite the imagination.

Bernie said...

I don't think I would like to even look at a groundhog closely let alone catch it and cook it.


Why does one have an alter ego to write under? I have often wondered. Does one need one? And under what circumstances?

Nichole Giles said...

Ew, roast groundhog! I think I'll just have salad.

Once, when I went for a weekend getaway in the mountains with some friends, a groundhog climbed up into the engine of my friend's car and came home with her. No, he wasn't hurt. But they had to call animal control to come catch him in her garage and then take him to be released back into the wild.

He was actually kind of scary. But not hurt at all.

Hermana Maw said...

Thanks for the laugh, although I'll pass on the roast groundhog. LOL. Those must have been lean years indeed for your friend. :)