My Extreme Body Workout ... by C.L. Beck

This is a paid -- albeit, humorous -- article sponsored by Fitness Alliance.

I am a big believer in exercise and fitness.

All right, quit that snickering over there in the corner. In my old age, I may have lost my mind but I haven't lost my hearing.

Seriously, I did do the 5K Run Through the Lavender thingy. Although, had I known better, I wouldn't have even started it because I almost killed myself choking on chewing gum. Standing three feet from the finish line and hacking up a piece of gum gave me an extreme body workout. Just ask all those people who ran like gazelles around me and thereby beat my time. Never once asking if they should call an ambulance.

I'll be the first to admit, though, that despite the fact that I played softball in my youth and that I walk regularly -- oh, all right, so it is from the stove to the kitchen table -- I do not have a beach body.

It's true. After a freak accident several years ago, my doctor told me I would never again be able to wear a bikini.

As he pointed to the stitches on the broken ankle I'd acquire by slipping on the ice -- while walking to the car one winter day to go buy Twinkies and a Big Gulp -- the doctor said, "You might not ever wear a bikini again, but at least you'll be able to walk. "

Either that or he said, "I did a great job and that will be $50, 000, please." In my anesthesia-induced state, I wasn't sure which.

My husband, Russ, thought the doctor's bikini statement pretty funny, but at my 90 day review (otherwise known as a three-month checkup), I thought that for $50,000 the doctor should have done a little liposuction while he was in there and sucked the fat off my ankles so I could wear a bikini.

Despite that past injury and my current inability to wear a skimpy swimsuit, I still continue to exercise. In fact, just today I walked 1.5 miles.

And please ignore Russ when he says it was negated by the fact that I did it with a chocolate chip cookie in one hand and a bottle of chocolate milk in the other. What does he know? Just because he once ran an 8-minute-mile, and bench-pressed 315 pounds, that does not make him a fitness guru.

(Disclosure: This is a guest post provided by Fitness Alliance. However, my opinions of the sites, events, of companies involved, or the quality of any products mentioned are my own. For more disclosure information, please read the disclosure page.)

"My Extreme Body Workout" © C.L. (Cindy Lynn) Beck
Tags: Fitness Alliance, extreme body workout, beach body, 90 Day Review


Anna Maria Junus said...

You mean it's not the post seven pregnancy body that I need to blame my bikinilessness on, but it's really my tree trunk ankles?

Cindy Beck, author said...

Anna: No, I'm sure it's not the pregnancies, it's the ankles. Or maybe the kneecaps. Having never seen your knees, I'm not sure which.:)

Shirley Bahlmann said...

Suck the fat out of your ankles, indeed! THEN how would you walk on water?