© Cindy Beck, 2008
(Keywords: Cindy Beck, metafore, simile, grammar, English grammar, biscuits, Connect Four, YourLDSNeighborhood.com)
I’m sure I’ve never met a fore or a simile that I didn’t like. That is, if I could remember what a metaphor or a simile is. There’s a composition and grammar book sitting on my desk that I refer to constantly, but when I went to look those terms up, my glasses had gone into hiding and the words looked like little ants. However, my less than 20-20 vision did tell me I could learn about meta-sores and similax in the book. (This might also explain why my biscuits are as heavy as bricks and just as tasty when I follow a recipe without wearing my glasses,)
Eventually the glasses turned up in the laundry basket and after putting them on, I immediately started on matters of high priority. I opened my email and found the joke of the day from the "Good, Clean Funnies List." That's when I discovered I'm not the only one who can't tell a metaphor from a semaphore from Connect Four.
Thinking you would enjoy these, I've pasted a portion of the email below for your reading pleasure. It’s a safe bet the analogies listed are metaphors … or maybe similes. It’s not a safe bet that they’re good ones.
------------ --------- -------
These are actual analogies found in high school essays.
- John and Mary had never met. They were like two
hummingbirds who had also never met.
- Even in his last years, grandpappy had a mind like a steel
trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted
- The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But
unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
- The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from
not eating for a while.
- He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck,
either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from
stepping on a landmine or something.
- The Ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one
slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
- It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids
with power tools.
- He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard
bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
- Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten
to put in any pH cleanser.
- She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing
- It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally
staple it to the wall.
(Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List
A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a)
Mail address: GCFL, Box 100 , Harvest , AL 35749 , USA
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at
http://www.gcfl. net/latest. php)
What's playing in my head: The sound of crickets as they sing their last summer songs.
This blog sponsored by YourLDSNeighborhood.com. Please show your appreciation by returning to and browsing through the Neighborhood!
Join the Neighborhood Newsletter . . . Subscriptions are free and joining is easy.