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Words ... by C.L. Beck




Words are a writer's stock-in-trade, and for that reason it's essential to understand the nuances of the written language. For example, in reference to the trunk of a car, some call it the trunk and others call it the boot. Face it, that could get confusing if you actually have boots in the boot. To help dispel the confusion of words in general, as well as for your enlightenment and edification ... okay, mostly just for fun ... here are a few lesser-known definitions of familiar words.

· Arbitrator ar’-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s.

· Avoidable uh-voy’-duh-buhl: What a bullfighter tries to do.

· Baloney buh-lo’-nee: Where some hemlines fall.

· Bernadette burn’-a-det: The act of torching a mortgage.

· Burglarize bur’-gler-ize: What a crook sees with.

· Counterfeiters kown-ter-fit-ers: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

· Eclipse i-klips’: what an English barber does for a living.

· Eyedropper i’-drop-ur: a clumsy ophthalmologist.

· Heroes hee’-rhos: what a guy in a boat does.

· Left Bank left’ bangk’: what the robber did when his bag was full of loot.

· Misty mis’-tee: How golfers create divots.

· Paradox par’-u-doks: two physicians.

· Parasites par’-uh-sites: what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

· Pharmacist farm’-uh-sist: a helper on the farm.

· Polarize po’-lur-ize: what penguins see with.

· Primate pri’-mat: removing your spouse from in front of the TV.

· Relief ree-leef’: what trees do in the spring.

· Rubberneck rub’-er-nek: what you do to relax your wife.

· Seamstress seem’-stres: describes 200 pounds in a size two.

· Selfish sel’-fish: what the owner of a seafood store does.

· Subdued sub-dood’: a guy, that works on one of those submarines.

· Sudafed sood’-a-fed: bringing litigation against a government official.

(Definitions received in an email. Author unknown.)


Until next time,
~ Cindy

ldshumor.blogspot.com
bythebecks.blogspot.com
Twitter.com/cindybeck

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11 comments:

Slamdunk said...

"Primate pri’-mat: removing your spouse from in front of the TV."

Funny list and how applicable.

Connie Hall said...

I loved the list. Thanks for making me laugh.

Dave Beck said...

My favorite was Sudafed! You always make me laugh!

Cathy Witbeck said...

And then there's the redneck defenition for having eaten too much at dinner. Facinate - I got nine buttons on my shirt, but I can only fascinate.

Watchman said...

Great list. Makes one wonder what Freud would have to say about them.

ali said...

Loved those! Thanks for the laugh Cindy!

Triple Nickel said...

Ahh yez. Very good. I like Watchman's comment. What would Freud say? Ego - what a man does when he leaves. Super Ego - what a building superintendent does when he leaves.
Loved the blog.

Kimberly Job said...

I know I can always count on you for a laugh. Loved those!

jdcoughlin said...

What a great laugh! Got stuck on one, but then laughed out loud. Thanks and happy 2010!!

Shanda said...

These are great! I laughed so hard at the eyedropper and subdued definitions that my kids were looking at me "funny"- ha ha ha- sorry.

Thanks for sharing these!

Kathi Oram Peterson said...

Loved them! And where did you get that wonderful picture of book?