Words ... by C.L. Beck

Words are a writer's stock-in-trade, and for that reason it's essential to understand the nuances of the written language. For example, in reference to the trunk of a car, some call it the trunk and others call it the boot. Face it, that could get confusing if you actually have boots in the boot. To help dispel the confusion of words in general, as well as for your enlightenment and edification ... okay, mostly just for fun ... here are a few lesser-known definitions of familiar words.

· Arbitrator ar’-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s.

· Avoidable uh-voy’-duh-buhl: What a bullfighter tries to do.

· Baloney buh-lo’-nee: Where some hemlines fall.

· Bernadette burn’-a-det: The act of torching a mortgage.

· Burglarize bur’-gler-ize: What a crook sees with.

· Counterfeiters kown-ter-fit-ers: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

· Eclipse i-klips’: what an English barber does for a living.

· Eyedropper i’-drop-ur: a clumsy ophthalmologist.

· Heroes hee’-rhos: what a guy in a boat does.

· Left Bank left’ bangk’: what the robber did when his bag was full of loot.

· Misty mis’-tee: How golfers create divots.

· Paradox par’-u-doks: two physicians.

· Parasites par’-uh-sites: what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

· Pharmacist farm’-uh-sist: a helper on the farm.

· Polarize po’-lur-ize: what penguins see with.

· Primate pri’-mat: removing your spouse from in front of the TV.

· Relief ree-leef’: what trees do in the spring.

· Rubberneck rub’-er-nek: what you do to relax your wife.

· Seamstress seem’-stres: describes 200 pounds in a size two.

· Selfish sel’-fish: what the owner of a seafood store does.

· Subdued sub-dood’: a guy, that works on one of those submarines.

· Sudafed sood’-a-fed: bringing litigation against a government official.

(Definitions received in an email. Author unknown.)


Until next time,
~ Cindy

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