A Blank Slate ... by Cindy Beck

© Cindy Beck, 2009
(Keywords: Cindy Beck, New Year's resolutions, lose weight, exercise, chocolates, humor, Latter-day Saints, LDS, yourLDSNeighborhood.com)

One of life’s joys is that a new year rolls around once every 365 days, thereby giving us a blank slate on which to scribble utterly unattainable goals for self-improvement. Things like, lose ten pounds or exercise seven days a week.

One of my blogging friends from the Neighborhood, Cheri Crane, suggested making a list of “things I have accomplished” over the past year, instead of making resolutions. That way, we have positive reinforcement to refer to during the upcoming months. And that’s what I’ve decided I’d do.

Okay, not really, but Cheri had such good ideas that I thought if I slipped in her blog address, you might go check it out.

This year, I’ve come up with totally achievable goals that I intend on keeping. Here—in no particular order and at no cost to you—are a few that you can feel free to add to your own compilation. Just send me two dollars and a box of chocolates for each resolution used.

1. Gain ten pounds.
2. Oh what the heck, why be stingy? Gain fifteen.
3. Vaccuum once a month.
4. Forget vacuuming and use a broom.
5. Throw out the broom and talk hubby into doing the cleaning.
6. Take more naps.
7. Take longer naps.
8. Forget the naps and stay in bed all day.
9. Eat more junk food.
10. Take more vitamins to offset the junk food.
11. Throw out the vitamins and drink eggnog instead.
12. Spend more money.
13. What money? The stock market decline ate it all.
14. Open more charge accounts.
15. Buy stuff on credit.
16. Feel guilty about buying stuff on credit but keep it anyway.

Now that I look at it, perhaps goals that I’m certain to achieve aren’t such a good idea. Let’s go back to Cheri’s idea of a list of “things I have accomplished” in the past year.

1. Breathed in and out.
2. Grew older.
3. Turned grayer.
4. Gained ten pounds.
5. Hey, ten pounds was on my other list, too!
6. Forgot where I put important papers.
7. Found the papers, but overlooked their significance and threw them out.
8. Made appointments to receive visiting teachers.
9. Forgot and left the house five minutes before they arrived.
10. Took less vitamins and drank more eggnog.
11. Hey, eggnog was on my other list, too.
12. Cursed the darkness instead of lighting a candle.
13. Lit the candle and almost burned the house down when it fell over.
14. Tried fruitcake.
15. Hated fruitcake.
16. Used fruitcake for a doorstop.

I hope that in some small way, I’ve encouraged you to make a list for the new year. Even if it’s only a shopping list. Or, on the positive reinforcement side, a record of dates that your home teachers actually came. No, wait, that might not have anything on it.

Whatever type of list you decide upon, bear in mind that it doesn’t matter what’s on it. You just want to be able to say that you made one. And if you can’t come up with any ideas of your own, feel free to borrow mine.

Just remember to send the chocolates.

What's playing in my head: None. I've resolved to ignore the voices in my head this year!:o)

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Cheri J. Crane said...

Hilarious as always, Cindy. =D Now where do I send the chocolate? ;)

Nichole Giles said...

I love your list idea. I think I'm going to make one of my own. It sounds so much more fun than making a list of resolutions I have to try to keep all year.

Thanks for the laughs.


Rachelle Christensen said...

Cindy- you helped me achieve a goal already--laugh and smile more!! JK, but thanks for the laughs and keep them coming.