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Those Funny Cats ... and Wanchai Ferry Giveaway

Eeee gads, another Monday has rolled around, and in my search for humor (Monday is a day that definitely needs humor) I went out to one of my favorite places, the Cheeseburger Site. Hope you enjoy the photos below as much as I did. If you get a second, leave a comment telling me your favorite—or whatever else you want to tell me—and you'll automatically be entered in the Wanchai Ferry Giveaway.

Speaking of that, Wanchai Ferry (and MyBlogSpark) gave me a package of Wanchai Ferry Frozen Beef and Broccoli to review ... well, actually to eat and then to review ... and it was delish! No kidding, I really liked it. Read more about it after you look at the fun photos, below.


funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures


funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures


funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures

funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures


And now, on to the giveaway ...



Wanchai Ferry Giveaway
: June 14-June 25, 2010. The gift pack includes a coupon for Wanchai Ferry Broccoli and Beef, plus a cute tea set. (Mine had two Chinese style tea cups and two tins of organic green tea. Green tea is supposed to be very healthy, but if you're not a tea drinker, you can always give it away to friends!)

Wanchai Ferry's Opinion: Wanchai Ferry frozen entrées are perfect to have on hand for those nights you’re in the mood for Asian cuisine, but would rather enjoy it with a relaxing night in. Available in the freezer section of your local grocery store, Wanchai Ferry frozen entrées come complete with everything you need to make a restaurant quality meal in the comfort of your own home.

The newest Wanchai Ferry flavor, Beef & Broccoli, is the first beef dish in their line of great-tasting, complete Chinese meals for two. Ready to serve in only 14 minutes, Wanchai Ferry Beef & Broccoli comes with tender beef strips, and an assortment of Asian-style vegetables, including broccoli florets, red peppers and water chestnuts. It even includes rice and a rich brown sauce accented with soy and garlic for an authentic flavor experience.

Be sure to try the two additional new flavors of Wanchai Ferry frozen entrées, Kung Pao Chicken and Szechuan Style Chicken, which will soon join five other delicious varieties including Orange Chicken, Shrimp Lo Mein, Spicy Garlic Chicken and Sweet & Sour Chicken. Additionally, all of the entrées have no added MSG!

There is a $1.60 off coupon available at http://bricks.coupons.com/bstart.asp?o=63369&ci=1&c=GM&p=OMaEZjGT. Also check out the website at http://www.wanchaiferry.com/MealTips.aspx later this summer for meal tips to enhance your Wanchai Ferry frozen entrée.

My Opinion:
I'm not normally a convenience food fan. I've tried frozen pizza, lasagna, Swedish meatballs, TV dinners, and numerous other convenience meals. Inevitably, I take a bite or two and throw the rest out. For that reason, I was more than pleasantly surprised with the Wanchai Ferry Broccoli and Beef. The meal was easy to prepare and the food actually tasted really good, including the rice. The ingredients were top quality, and I finished my whole plateful!

To Enter the Giveaway: Leave a comment on this blog post before midnight on Friday, June 25, 2010. That's it. How easy can that be? Be sure to leave your email address if you're not a regular reader and I don't already have your address. The winner will be drawn and announced on or before June 28.


(This contest sponsored by Wanchai Ferry and MyBlogSparkTM . I received a free package of Wanchai Ferry Broccoli and Beef for review and a tea set similar to the one mentioned previously, as a thank you for my participation. My opinions of the product are my own, however. Should the prize go unclaimed, a new winner will be chosen or the prize will be withdrawn, at my discretion and that of MyBlogSpark.)

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A Few Suggestions for Walt Disney ... by C.L. Beck


Epcot Center at Disney World, Orlando, FL

As many of you know, last week I went to Disney World. Well, okay, only three of you actually knew. That's because I try not to announce to all of humankind when I'm going to be gone, and thus prevent burglars from taking up temporary residence in my home. I'm sure none of you are burglars ... well, pretty sure ... but since a few of you might have distant, burglar cousins (and you just don't know that's their livelihood) I prefer to discuss my travels after the fact.

And having clarified that, it's on to tell about Disney World. I doubt there's anyone who's been to the park that didn't find something they loved. However, in the interest of improvement and since I'm now an experienced Disney World Traveler, I feel qualified to state that if Mr. Disney were alive today, there are a few suggestions I'd make to him about his theme park.

1. WATER: Yes, Mr. Disney, there is plenty of water available in your park, but please do not roll over in your grave when I say that almost all of it is in bottles. Bottles that individually cost the yearly salary of an orthopedic surgeon.

Okay, wait. There was a water fountain—maybe even two of them—in the approximately 39 square mile (25,000 acre) park, but water that is at air temperature doesn't count as real water. Real water is cold and does not taste like a Florida swamp.

2. LOCATION: In the winter, Florida is a lovely place. In May, Florida is more like hell. No, seriously, I'm not swearing here; I mean the real hot place, where souls burn and cry out for water. Oh yeah, that's right ... water. See number one, above.

And speaking of Florida, I found out on my return trip home (also known as the Flight from H-ll, thanks to Delta Airlines) that you should never walk your dog near water in Florida. Why? Because the gators will come out and snatch him right off the leash. Hmmm, perhaps chomp him off the leash is more accurate.

Those who've been to Florida understand the logistics with that. It means you can't ever walk the dog anyplace because the entire state is one big, gator infested swamp. The condo where we stayed had lovely ponds which held the bounties of nature. One small pool had minnows swimming in schools, frogs singing at night, birds calling from the shore in the morning ... and an alligator lurking in the dark water.

The condo management did not put one in there by choice. Well, I'm pretty sure it wasn't by choice unless they wanted to get rid of a few tourists. The gator just wandered in and decided to make the pond his home. And considering that I saw another gator walking on the grass a short distance (or "a short piece" as they say in Florida) down the road, I'm thinking gators are as common as high humidity in that sunny state.

Oh yes ... humidity. See number three, below.

3. HUMIDITY: Mr. Disney, you really should do something about that humidity at Disney World. Couldn't you have put the place in a big air-conditioned, climate controlled super dome or something? Temperatures of 130 degrees and 200% humidity is enough to make even Goofy cranky. Not to mention all the little rug rats and crumb crushers that are there hoping to have fun, and instead are throwing up from drinking the Florida swamp water that's in the two water fountains. Mmm-hhh, water fountains. Or the lack thereof. See number one, above.

4. MICKEY, MINNIE, PLUTO AND THE GANG: No suggestions here, Mr. Disney. Who could possibly improve on the Disney characters? Pluto hugged my grandkids as if they were his own, and even helped them turn in the right position for great pictures. My only regret is that he had to leave for his scheduled break before someone could snap my picture with him. The Disney princes and princesses always had a smile, and although I know they were getting paid for it, they always seemed sincere. And despite the fact that I was sticky-hot and thirsty while I was there, Epcot Center and Blizzard Beach more than made up for it.

So ... thank you, Mr. Disney, for a great time. I'm sure I spent the family fortune plus all the money I hoarded from picking up small change in parking lots, but I'd gladly do it again!

(If any of you have gone to the Disney Parks, what was your favorite ride or event? I loved "Soar'n" at the Epcot Center!)

------© C.L. (Cindy) Beck------


This article sponsored by YourLDSNeighborhood.



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Genealogy and Family History ... posted by C.L. Beck



I don't usually post the same entry here and at the LDS Humor Blog, but I found these "genealogy funnies" so enjoyable that I didn't want any of you missing them. The bits and pieces of family history correspondence below just prove that those many individuals researching their ancestors are more humorous than most of us believe. Even though the humor is unintentional.

And to think the skeptics thought searching one's family history would be a dead hobby. (Tee hee! Did you get that pun? Okay ... so I did make it up myself. That makes it all the better, right?)


Funny Correspondence Allegedly Sent to the Family History (Genealogy) Department, Salt Lake City, Utah


1. Our 2nd great-grandfather was found dead crossing the plains in the library.

2. He and his daughter are listed as not being born.

3. I would like to find out if I have any living relatives or dead relatives or ancestors in my family.

4. Will you send me a list of all the Dripps in your library?

5. My Grandfather died at the age of 3.

6. We are sending you 5 children in a separate envelope.

7. Documentation: Family Bible in possession of Aunt Merle until the tornado hit Topeka, Kansas. Now only the Good Lord knows where it is.

8. The wife of #22 could not be found. Somebody suggested that she might have been stillborn--what do you think?

9. I am mailing you my aunt and uncle and 3 of their children.

10. Enclosed please find my Grandmother. I have worked on her for 30 years without success. Now see what you can do!

11. I have a hard time finding myself in London. If I were there I was very small and cannot be found.

12. This family had 7 nephews that I am unable to find. If you know who they are, please add them to the list.

13. We lost our Grandmother, will you please send us a copy?

14. Will you please send me the name of my first wife? I have forgotten her name.

15. A 14-year-old boy wrote: "I do not want you to do my research for me. Will you please send me all of the material on the Welch line, in the U.S., England and Scotland countries? I will do the research."

16. I would like to know how many descendants I really have?
----

Did you enjoy those? Which did you find to be the funniest? Drop off a comment and let me know—my favorite was #16!

------Genealogy funnies received in an email from one of our
Mormon Mishaps and Mischief contributors, C. LaRene Hall. Original author unknown, blog post © C.L. (Cindy) Beck.------


Impressing Spike and Snarl ... by C.L. Beck

Posted by C.L. (Cindy) Beck



The other day an astute reader—Anna Junus—commented on my recent post, Melts in Your Mouth. She asked, "When you call your dog do [you] call 'Come here Corky Porky Pie.' Do you say his whole name every time and do the other dogs like Spike and Snarl tease him?"

To answer Anna's question, yes, sometimes we do call him by his whole name, but a lot of times we just lean out and yell, "Hey you! Dog! Quit eating the neighbor's cat!" Of course, it's only for appearances' sake, to totally impress Spike and Snarl. They think Corky Porky's a big bruiser and since they can't see through our vinyl fence, they never figure out that the Corkster is actually playing with his own pet. An ugly old cat named, "Pretty Kitty," who escorts the dog around the yard, rubbing up against his face and purring his love for Corky.



But I digress ....

Corky Porky Pie comes from a long line of Pembroke Welsh Corgis, and should anyone ever give him a hard time about his name, he can always point to his heritage.

And that's a lot more than can be said about Spike and Snarl, who I'm pretty certain fit into one of the breeds listed below.

Dog Breeds That Just Didn't Make It

Deerhound + Terrier = Derriere, a dog that's true to the end.

Spitz + Chow Chow = Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot.

Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for
visionaries.

Great Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed.

Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog.

Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer = Spaniel Irish
Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle.

Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat
Retriever, the choice of research scientists.

Newfoundland + Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound, a dog
for financial advisors.

Terrier + Bulldog = Terribull, a dog that makes awful
mistakes.

Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabador, a dog that barks (or
drools) incessantly.

Malamute + Pointer = Moot Point, owned by ... oh, well, it
doesn't matter anyway.

Collie + Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work with
you.

Bloodhound + Borzoi = Bloody Bore, a dog that's not much fun.

Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet.

Collie + Lhasa Apso = Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy
transport.


So, which of those breeds did you find to be the funniest? Take a sec and drop off a comment. I'd love to hear which ones you thought were a hoot. (I liked the Spitz-Chow and the Poinsetter.)

------"Dog Breeds that Didn't Make It," received from The Good Clean Funnies. Remainder of this post © C.L. (Cindy) Beck.------




A $150 Value Giveaway!

Great news! It's time for the Mormon Mishaps and Mischief Giveaway and Blog Tour! And you are seriously going to want to enter, because there's a GREAT prize.

In celebration of Mothers, and all they do for us, Mormon Mishaps authors C.L. Beck (that's me!) and D.N. Giles have put together a giveaway in conjunction with a week-long blog tour. And the coolest part is that we're offering a a fantastic advertising package valued at $150 as the prize.

Think of what you could advertise ... maybe you write a blog, or have a self-published or main-stream published book. Do you sell a service, photos or greeting cards? Are you into selling candles, ribbons, or handmade items? You don't have to be LDS to advertise! Anything you can think of (as long as it meets family values) could be advertised if you win the prize!

Sounds great, doesn't it? It is! And before we go any farther, let us tell you a little about our sponsors, yourLDSneighborhood.com and YourLDSradio.com.


yourLDSneighborhood.com is an online shopping mall which features innovative products and LDS-based services, and great ideas for your home, all without the worries of questionable content. Shopping categories include Clothing, Music, Preparedness, Family Entertainment, Scrapbooking, Books and Art, Health and Food, Travel and Recreation, Weddings and more! Visit yourLDSneighborhood.com today.


Your LDS Neighborhood Newsletter is a free online newsletter that comes three times a week right to your email inbox. It provides topical stories and insights that set the tone for your day. The newsletter brings you articles, products, services, resources, and interviews from around the world, all with an LDS focus. Sign up today by clicking here!

YourLDSradio.com commits to bringing you the best in LDS Music – all day, every day and it is totally FREE to listen! Make them your web-surfing companion. It's free and easy to use and makes for the perfect online companion. Listen for yourself at yourLDSradio.com!

Okay, and now for the prize!


Your LDS Neighborhood has offered a YEAR LONG advertising package which includes space on the Neighborhood website as well as tiles in the newsletter. If you were you to purchase this advertising with them, the package would cost $150.

Here’s the best part. You don’t have to be LDS to advertise with the Neighborhood. As long as the business, blog, or product you’re promoting is family friendly, this advertising package will benefit you. Neighborhood ads are viewed daily around the globe, and by thousands of people.

So how do you win?

Entries will be accepted between May 4th and midnight, MST, May 16th. On May 17th, (or as close there about as possible) the winners will be chosen and announced on the LDS Humor blog. You must do the following four things to enter (but don't worry, they aren't hard):

1. Follow my blog, here.
2. Leave a comment here, at this blog.
3. Follow the LDS Humor blog.
4. Follow the Your LDS Neighborhood Newsletter blog.

Extra entries:

1. Blog about this contest, then come back and leave either a url address or a link in a comment.
2. Follow me on Twitter. (Bloggers, you can hyperlink this to your twitter page if you’d like, or include your twitter username.) And then tweet the contest. (Make sure to mention this in a comment.)
3. Facebook the contest. If your Facebook page is private, and I’m not your friend, I can’t see that you’ve done this, so you’ll need to friend me.(Same goes here.) Be sure to leave the link to where you've FB'd the contest in a comment.

All of these options can be mentioned in a single comment, and you can enter at all the participating blogs, as long as you follow and leave a comment for those bloggers so they know you love them.

You may enter this contest here, as well as on any of the tour posts at the following blogs:

May 4th Rachelle Christensen
May 4th Shirley Bahlmann
May 5th Karlene Browning
May 5th Heather Gardener, Fire and Ice Book Reviews
May 6th Kellie Buckner
May 6th Rachel Rager
May 7th Shauna Chambers
May 7th Heather Justesen
May 10th LDS Humor Blog
May 10th Keith Fisher
May 11th Tristi Pinkston
May 11th Rebecca Talley
May 12th Taffy Lovell
May 12th Kimberly Job
May 13th Connie Hall
May 13th Ali Cross

To purchase Mormon Mishaps and Mischief click here.


Frozen Chickens and Overdue Library Books



Today we're discussing the important issue of oil rigs that explode, spilling petroleum over the ocean's surface, making all our fish burgers taste like a barrel of crude. But first, let's talk about an issue of even greater importance ... me!

I just found out I may be a fifth-degree felon. It all started with a library book that I thought my hubby might enjoy reading. If your spouse/significant other is anything like mine, he thinks he wants to read a book, but in actuality wants to turn on the TV and watch chickens being shot from a cannon.

No, no, not live chickens. Frozen chickens.



The live ones would make far too big a mess for the Mythbusters to clean up, and there'd be feathers and chicken sh ... shtuff everywhere. Besides, if you've ever seen the show, you'd know the Mythbuster Dudes are too kind-hearted to use real chickens.

I hope.

At any rate, now that we've taken that little side trip down a dead end track, let me continue. I'd read the mystery story, Hearts in Hiding, by Betsy Brannon Green. It was a fun read, and the plot revolved around an FBI agent and a woman in the witness protection program. Since it took place in Georgia, lots of yummy foods were mentioned. Good ol' southern cuisine like collard greens and chitlins.

No wait, maybe there weren't any chitlins, because the mention of that home-cooked standby might cause the reader to rush to the bathroom and throw up. (What? You didn't know that chitlins are pig intestines?)

Bypassing the idea of chitlins, Green mentioned pork chops and old-fashioned, homemade biscuits. I was sure Russ would love the story, even if he never really caught onto the plot.

"Would you like to read this?" I asked him, a few days before the book was due back at the library. Russ stared at the TV as images of a fresh chicken carcass bouncing off an airplane's windshield shot across the screen. So much for proving the theory that a bird flying into an airliner's windshield can cause a crash.

Taking Russ's silence and stare to mean yes, I continued, "Then I'll renew it, so you can read it."

Russ stared even harder as the Mythbusters fired two frozen chickens in tandem at the airplane, and then he jumped from his seat, cheering.

Yes! I knew he’d be that excited about the book!

The next day, after gentle encouragement—okay, loud nagging—from me, Russ started reading the story. After two or three pages, he uncrumpled a used napkin, slid it in for a bookmark and then stood up from the chair. “I need to go outside and do something.”

My eyebrows arched, “Like what? Paint the house? Fix the car? Those are all things that can wait until you finish the book.”

“Umm, yeah, but what I really need to do … is … umm … oh … is to clean up Corky Porky pies. Yeah, that’s it.”

I pondered that. Who would choose cleaning up doggie poop over reading a book? Probably the same person who’d rather see a frozen chicken hurtling through space.

Two weeks later, the book sat in the same spot. The pizza-stained napkin sat on the same page. I gave Russ my best you’d-better-read-this-book-or-you'll-be-sleeping-on-the-couch look and said sweetly, “Would you like me to renew this for you?”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” he replied, watching as the Mythbusters switched from firing frozen chickens to putting a dead pig in a car—supposedly to see if it’s possible to get a rotting flesh smell out of a vehicle.

I stared at the TV, stupefied. Really, who’d want that car, even if they could get the smell out? I’d be afraid the pig would come back to haunt me as I was driving down a back road …

(Scary organ music plays.) It’s a dark and stormy night. Lightening crackles, rain streams down the windshield, and as I round the curve, the car hydroplanes toward an oak tree. From out of thin air, Miss Piggy’s face appears, her pink snot inches from my face as she screams, “Pig killer …”

Just then, the kitchen timer dinged, bringing me back to the reality that the pork chops were going to burn if I didn’t get them out of the oven. I looked from the library book to Russ. “Okay, then, I’ll renew it one more time, but please finish reading it before it ends up being returned late.”

Russ leaped from his seat and cheered. Maybe he really was looking forward to finishing the book.

Three weeks later, it sat in the same spot. The pizza-stained napkin had more sauce on it, but it was still on the same page. Worse yet, the book was now overdue.

And that’s when I remembered the news headline I'd read a few months earlier at Breibart.com: “Unreturned library book leads to woman’s arrest.” Some poor schnook in Iowa had failed to return her library book, and they’d sicced the cops on her.

Can you imagine that? Arrested for an unreturned library book! Hmmph! It was undoubtedly her husband’s fault. And now I was probably a fifth-degree felon myself.

Well, all I have to say is if I'm going to jail, it’d better be for a crime more worthwhile than failing to return a book on time. I’m thinking something like beating Russ over the head with a couple of frozen chickens would do it.

And hey, that might even get me on Mythbusters.

------© C.L. (Cindy) Beck------


Burning Oil Rig: Photo by US Coast Guard
Chickens: Photo by Herrick, Wikimedia Commons


This article sponsored by YourLDSNeighborhood.



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Women are Smarter than Men … by C.L. Beck



Today I’d like to discuss the latest ongoing research from Northwestern University’s College of HairSpray and Mousse, whose scientists have proven that—with the exception of Albert Einsten—men are not as smart as women. But first, let’s talk about a news item from the Internet.

According to an article written by Bob Mims, and published in the Salt Lake Tribune on April 21, 2010, an alleged kidnapper tried to abduct a woman from a Smith’s Marketplace at midnight, and then was run over when he attempted to carjack a vehicle.

From the absurdness of the situation, I’m guessing the kidnapper was a male. Well, that, and the fact that it said so in the Tribune.

Perhaps this kidnapper had heard of Northwestern’s research and wanted to stand as proof, because after he forced his way into the victim’s car (while wielding a knife), and insisted she drive off with him inside, he let her pull into a gas station when she claimed to be running out of gas. And then, the assailant left his victim in the car while he went inside the station’s convenience store, presumably for something really important … like buying a stick of gum.

Seriously, can you picture any woman kidnapper doing that? No, she’d go in the store for something important … like a tube of mascara. And she’d at least remove her panty hose and hog-tie her victim before leaving the car. Why? Because, contrary to popular male belief, kidnap victims tend to flee when left sitting footloose and fancy free in a vehicle.

According to the Tribune, when the kidnapper came out and found that his alleged victim had disappeared, he went back into the store, and while pretending he had a gun, attempted to rob the clerk.

What person with a brain—who’s wielding a knife for the first half of the crime—now pretends to have a gun? If he was a woman, he would’ve pretended he had a can of pepper spray in his purse. Or a bazooka. Honestly, some women have purses big enough to hold a Stinger missile.

Since the store clerk refused to give up the money, the kidnapper grabbed a customer in the store and demanded the keys to his car. Being far more intelligent than the kidnapper, the customer punched him and they proceeded to rough each other up until the customer managed to push the kidnapper out the door. From whence—lest someone still have a lingering doubt about the kidnapper’s stupidity—the man ran to a nearby Wendy’s restaurant and pounded on the windows, demanding to be let in.

Now really, if you’re going to run to a Wendy’s restaurant after midnight, waving your pretend gun about and pounding on windows, why not at least pound at the drive-through and demand a bowl of chili and a Frosty?

At any rate, the employees were having none of it … no, not the chili, none of the kidnapper … and called the police. Whereupon the kidnapper broke in and chased two employees into the parking lot.

And this is where the story goes beyond normal male thinking and into bizarre. The dude that the kidnapper had fought with in the convenience store had inexplicably decided to go to this same Wendy’s restaurant for a late night snack.

Yes, I know. I see all you women out there shaking your heads in amazement at the progression of events. A woman would’ve had an emergency bag of chocolates in her purse, alongside the bazooka, and wouldn’t have needed to stop at a fast food joint during the hours when only criminals are out and about.

But, I digress … so the guy that fought with him at the convenience store started pulling out of the Wendy's parking lot, and the kidnapper ran over to the man’s Chevy Tahoe SUV, began banging on the hood and demanding the driver surrender the vehicle.

Although the driver wasn’t a woman, I have to give him credit for quick thinking. Rather than open the door and ask the deranged chili-and-Frosty kidnapper what he wanted, the guy continued driving away, leaving the kidnapper behind with tread marks from the tires on his chest.

Okay, I’ll admit it. I made up that last part about the tread marks on the kidnapper’s chest. The article in the Tribune did not mention tread marks, but based on my husband’s experience as a one-time convenience store clerk, that can happen.

However, that’s an anecdote for another day. And despite having made up the tread marks, I swear, I am telling the truth. Well, for the most part. And you can read the full story online, at the Salt Lake Tribune’s website.

The kidnapper was taken to the hospital, which at this point is incidental to what I set out to accomplish in telling you the story. I’m pretty certain that by now, all the women readers—and even a good number of men—are in agreement that the College of HairSpray and Mousse’s researchers knew what they were talking about in stating women are smarter than men.

And not just because the kidnapper left his victim untied in a car. Not just because he tried to rob a convenience store with a pretend gun, tried to commandeer the keys to a vehicle by punching a guy in the store, or tried to hijack the same guy’s vehicle in a Wendy’s parking lot.

No. It’s because if a woman had been driving that SUV when the kidnapper-turned-carjacker fell under the wheels, she wouldn’t have waited around calmly for the police.

Nope, she would’ve screamed hysterically. And then she’d have intentionally backed up and ran over the nut again!

------© C.L. (Cindy) Beck------



This article sponsored by YourLDSNeighborhood.



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Faint Heart Never Won Fair Pork Chop ... by C.L. Beck


Photo by misocrazy, Wikimedia Commons

After listening to Russ bemoan the fact that lids used to come off jars significantly easier when he was in his twenties, I finally said, “Well, don’t complain until you’ve walked a mile in the moccasins of a man who has no feet.”

It was a wise and pithy saying, but my hubby's face reflected confusion. Or maybe it was contortion. Yup, that was it, contorted with laughter.

After a few minutes, while his chuckles still echoed through the kitchen and Corky Porky Pie checked him out under the suspicion that food was involved, Russ wiped the tears from his eyes and took a deep breath. “Doesn’t that strike you as a little incongruous? Why would a man with no feet own a pair of moccasins?”

“I don’t know. I don’t make up the sayings, I just quote them.”

“More like misquote them,” Russ said, scratching Corky Porky Pie behind the ears.

It’s a good thing my eyebrows were attached, or they would’ve flown off my face and hit the ceiling with a splat. “Misquote? Since when?”

The corners of Russ’s mouth twitched, a look I would have found very appealing if it hadn't meant he was trying not to laugh out loud. He said, “How about … since when not?”

I put my hands on my hips and tapped the toe of my shoe. “Name one other thing that I’ve misquoted.”

Russ scratched the spot on his head that used to have hair. “Well, give me a minute, and I’m sure I’ll remember a thing or two.”

“Ah-ha! You’re just stalling for time so you can make something up. Well, I’ll tell you this … when you can’t think of anything, don’t go using me as your whipping goat.”

A sound that seemed like a cross between a laugh and a choke escaped his lips. “I think you mean either a whipping boy or a scapegoat,” he said, clearing his throat. “There’s no such thing as a whipping goat. And you really need to get your sayings straightened out because you have them all mixed up. Why don’t you check out Poor Richard?”

I cocked my head—which always helped when pondering something—and tried to figure out what he meant, but really it made no sense. Besides, I’d learned long ago that dogs and men had similar thought processes, and they were undecipherable to the female mind. Unless food was involved.

I finally gave in. “Why would I want to consult about famous sayings with that homeless dude down the street? I guess he could be an English professor who’s fallen on rocky roads, but I doubt it.”

My hubby shook his head. “No, not the homeless guy down the street; I’m talking about Poor Richard’s Almanac. Ben Franklin and his proverbs. And besides, I think you meant, ‘Fallen on hard times’ because no one falls on a rocky road … that’s a type of ice cream.” Russ opened the freezer and started looking around, presumably for a container of the frozen confection by the same name.

Stepping closer, I looked over his shoulder. “Hey, don’t rearrange the food. There’s an order to it.”

He looked dubiously at the crinkled tinfoil packages and plastic containers of various shapes and sizes. “There’s a system here? I don’t see any dates on the food. And nothing seems to be sorted alphabetically.”

I knew better than to take the bait. Who ever heard of putting food in the freezer alphabetically? My tried and true method of stuff-it-in-where-ever-it-fits had worked for years, and no amount of bizarre male logic would convince me another system was better.

Russ hauled out a mangled carton of ice cream, and popped it open, ice crystals flying off the lid and through the air. “Exactly how long has this been in the freezer?”

Taking it in my hands, I turned it over and squinted. “Umm, the carton says it expires in October, so, it’s still good.” I grabbed a spoon, scraped out the ice cream at the bottom of the carton, plopped it in a dish and threw the container in the trash. Then, I wiped my hands on a paper towel and threw it on top of the ice cream carton. Strategically on top.

Russ’s eyebrows crinkled together as he looked at the trash and then back at me. “You threw that paper towel in there with great haste.” He walked over, took off the paper towel and pulled the carton out. “October, 1978” he read aloud.

“Uh-oh, foiled again,” I said, as brightly as possible for a woman who’d just been caught with last century’s ice cream still in her freezer.

Russ gave his “I’m being very patient” smile. “Would you like me to organize the freezer for you, as a Mother’s Day gift?”

I gasped and put my hand over my heart. “No! Never! Er … I mean … no, thank you. You keep your kingdom organized in whatever guy-type way you like and I’ll keep my freezer in my way." I took the carton from Russ and gave it to Corky Porky Pie to lick. "Besides, as everybody knows, faint heart never won fair pork chop."

Russ pulled a baking sheet out of the cabinet and said, "Okay, I give up. You win. Let’s bake some cookies and take them to poor Richard, who’s undoubtedly sitting down at the corner he calls home, and surfing the Net on his laptop."

I nodded my head. "Yes, but maybe he's happier that way, because really... home is where ever you hang your @."

------© C.L. (Cindy) Beck------



This article sponsored by YourLDSNeighborhood.



Please show your appreciation by stopping for a visit. And take a minute to check out their newsletter, and yourLDSRadio as well!





Rescued by the Lone Ranger ... by C.L. Beck

Here it is another Moan-day ... and who do we have to save us from the Moan-day blues? Why, the Lone Ranger, of course!

This video runs about 4 minutes, but the story is really funny which makes it well worth watching. Especially on a Moan-day.



And before you head out to do your normal Moan-day duties, let me ask you this ... who was your favorite hero as a kid? The Lone Ranger? Roy Rogers? Ninja Turtles? Or someone else?

Melts in Your Mouth ... by C.L. Beck

© C.L. (Cindy) Beck


Photo © Rodrigo Moraes, Wikimedia Commons


Russ bought a huge bag of M&Ms recently. They're the kind that call to you in your sleep … and when you're in the shower … and when you're working on blogs … and when ... well, you get the idea. I finally succumbed to the alluring siren's song, cradled the bag in my arms and took it in to Russ's office.

I stroked it lovingly, and then, coming to my senses, said to Russ, "I can't keep my New Year's resolution to lose weight if you keep buying candy, especially peanut M&Ms."

"Sorry.” He patted me on the arm and looked contrite, but I wondered if it was really a love pat or something else. Was it a subterfuge and he actually wanted my candy?

Pushing the paranoia aside, I tightened my grip on the bag—just in case. Then reason took over. "If you're going to buy these, at least hide them someplace where I won't find them. Like under the bed." I could feel myself responding just like one of Pavlov’s dogs to the sight of the bright green and red candies on the package and I swallowed hard to keep from drooling.

Russ said, "You want candy put under the bed, with all the dust bunnies?"

Clearing my throat, I stroked the bag again, and surreptitiously tore one little corner open. "No, that was just an example. I want you to not buy them, but when you do buy them, put them out of sight."

He looked at me, confusion evident in his eyes. "Okay, so I'm supposed to buy them and put them where you can’t find them?"

"Yeah, something like that." Then, with a burst of virtuousness, I shoved the bag into his arms and said with a sob, "Quick, hide them!"

Russ lifted one eyebrow. "Are you okay? This isn't exactly life and death here, and certainly not something to cry over. If it's that big a problem, I'll just throw them out." He stood up and leaned toward the trashcan.

Thinking quickly, I grabbed his arm. "No! Not in there. It'll bring bugs if you put candy in the office trash. And besides that, it's against the law and morally wrong. Here, let me take them up to the kitchen."

Russ stopped, moved the candy out of my reach, cocked his head and stared for a minute. "Why are your eyes dilated?"

"Umm, oh ... aaah." I thought long and hard. It would never do to say it was because I’d realized I’d made a mistake in giving him the bag, and was ready to kill if he didn’t hand me back my M&Ms. "Because I just came back from the eye doctor."

Russ looked at the clock on the wall and then at his wrist watch. "It's 10:00 at night. You went to the eye doctor in the dark, when the rest of the world is going to bed?"

"Sure, that’s when he checks his patients’ night vision."

“Who are his patients? Owls?” Russ shifted the M&Ms behind his back, and I sidled closer. Corky Porky Pie, the dog, walked into the room, probably sensing the tension. Either that or smelling the delicious fragrance of chocolate. My chocolate. My chocolate covered, peanut M&Ms that Russ was not going to keep from me.

I lunged for the candy, and Russ pulled a maneuver to rival Jerry Rice. No, not on the dance floor—Jerry Rice on the football field. It did no good, though. Trickery and treachery will beat out speed and agility any time. I stuck out my foot and tripped him. The bag of M&Ms hit the floor. Nothing spilled and I realized the gods were on my side and actually wanted me to eat those chocolate covered peanuts.

Grabbing the candy, I ran up the stairs while tearing the bag open with my teeth. Ha! Nothing could stop me now. No one, no how, no waaayyyyyy—

I tripped over Corky Porky Pie, who had somehow managed to jump in front of me on my rapid ascent up the stairs. M&Ms flew everywhere, and Corky Porky apparently thought it was manna from heaven, as he scrambled with his fat, little legs toward the nearest pile.

They say love can cure anything, and in that instant, I knew it was true. Chocolate is toxic for dogs, and I placed Corky Porky Pie’s safety over my need for a chocolate fix. I grabbed him and held him as Russ swept up the M&Ms—my luscious, lovely M&Ms—and dumped them in the trash.

Afterward, Russ came over, gave me a hug, and told me how proud he was of me. I smiled, and a feeling almost as good as eating chocolate swept over me. I’d done it. I’d saved Corky Porky Pie and sacrificed my M&Ms. I was strong, I was invincible.

And I had five M&Ms stashed in my pocket that no one knew about.


------© C.L. (Cindy) Beck------



This article sponsored by YourLDSNeighborhood.



Please show your appreciation by stopping for a visit. And take a minute to check out their newsletter, and yourLDSRadio as well!



Winner of Inner Goddess Bath Pack and Yogurt Coupons



Winner of the yogurt coupons and "Inner Goddess" bath pack: Jan (J.T.) Thomason. Congrats Jan! Please send me your mailing address and phone number.

And thank you to everyone who commented and entered the contest. You're the best! Please don't give up if you didn't win, but keep visiting, because there'll be more contests coming up. Until then, there'll be fun articles to read. Plus, tomorrow's post will be an exceptionally funny one (at least that's what one "pre-reader" told me).

What would you do when a huge bag of M&Ms keeps calling out to you? Well, I tried to stay on my diet, but ....

(Stop by tomorrow to find out what happened! )


Easter Bunnies ... by C.L. Beck

Wth Easter hopping closer every day, I thought it would be fun to post a few bunny photos from the ICanHasCheezburger site. Enjoy!



funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures



funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures



funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures



funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures



funny rabbit pictures - i be under yur bed chillin wit teh dust buneez.
see more Lolcats and funny pictures



funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures



This last one isn't a bunny photo, but it's funny, and fits for Easter, so I just had to include it.


Humorous Pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures


Do you have a favorite among all those shots? If so, please leave a comment and tell me about it. I'd love to hear from you.

Have a wonderful, warm Easter, and may the Easter bunny leave you lots of eggs ... all the chocolate kind!


~ Cindy


A Few Funnies... and "Your Inner Goddess" Yoplait Giveaway!



Adapted and Posted by C.L. (Cindy) Beck

** Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, an elderly man and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table. The woman spoke up, "Young man, we're both 90 years old; we may not have 45 minutes." They were seated immediately.

** The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.

** A shopper stood in the express lane at the grocery store looking highly annoyed. The woman ahead of her had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. The shopper's scowl turned to delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward, looked into her full cart and asked sweetly, “So, which six items would you like to buy?”

** A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

** Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

** All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.

---------

THIS CURRENT GIVEAWAY (March 21-midnight, Apr 2, 1010): Yoplait Greek "Nourish Your Inner Goddess" gift pack, which includes 2 coupons* for free Greek yogurt. Your prize pack may differ slightly from mine, but mine included a terry/velor after bath wrap, slippers, loofah, and other bath accessories. Very nice! And should your inner goddess actually be an inner god (yup, guys, that's you) or should you already have all those items, it makes a great birthday gift to give to someone.



In addition, you can also visit Bricks Coupons to download a coupon* and save $0.30 on one cup of new Yoplait Greek today!

*Coupon offers for Yoplait Greek yogurt are not valid in some states, including California, Idaho, Louisiana, Minnesota, Nevada, New Jersey, North Dakota, and Tennessee.

Contest open to US residents only.

THE PRODUCT:




Here's what Yoplait has to say about it:

With 12 grams of protein -- twice that found in leading yogurts-- new Yoplait Greek nourishes from the inside out. Available in four delicious flavors, Strawberry, Blueberry, Honey Vanilla and Plain, the brand´s newest offering has a unique thick and creamy texture with the unmatched taste expected of Yoplait.

To celebrate its new Greek yogurt and to encourage women to nourish their inner goddess, Yoplait has teamed up with actress Izabella Miko, who plays Greek Goddess Athena in the epic adventure new Warner Bros. Pictures´ and Legendary Pictures´ film "Clash of the Titans," in theaters April 2 in 3D.

Here's the trailer for the movie, in case you'd like a glimpse:





MY OPINION:


I'd heard that Greek yogurt was a little more tart than regular yogurt, so used my coupon for the plain flavor. Why? Because I like to use plain yogurt as a substitute for sour cream. The fact that the new Yoplait Greek Yogurt has more protein and is fat-free makes it perfect to use in gravies, or as a topper for baked potatoes. It's thick, creamy, and a little goes a long way. And that's another good reason to use it, in my book. I haven't had a chance to try the following idea yet, but I'm planning on using it with my favorite ranch dressing mix the next time I make up a batch. I think it would give a nice flavor with a touch of zing. If any of you try it that way, let me know what you think!

HOW TO ENTER:Leave a comment on this article. If you're not a regular follower, but sure to leave your email address so you can be contacted should you win. (Required, and gives 1 entry)

Extra Entries (Optional)

*Click to follow my blog, in the sidebar on the right. If you already follow, tell me so. (1 entry)
* Follow me on Twitter, or if already a follower, tell me so. (1 entry)
* Tweet about the contest on Twitter, leaving a link there to the contest. (1 entry)
*Mention the contest on Facebook, leaving a link there to the contest. (1 entry)
*Subscribe to my newsletter (sidebar on the right), or if already subscribed, tell me so. (3 entries)
* Blog about the contest, being sure to leave a link to THIS blog post in your blog, and then leave the link to your blog post in your comment here (5 entries).

(Thanks for entering! This giveaway sponsored by Yoplait and MyBlogSparkTM . I received a gift pack and coupons for Greek yogurt from them, but my opinions are my own. If for some reason there is no winner, or I can not get in contact with the winner, I will redraw or give the gift pack to charity, at BlogSpark's and my discretion.)


Interview with Nichole Giles, Author of "The Sharp Edge of a Knife"




I'm currently participating in the blog tour for Nichole Giles' historical novel, The Sharp Edge of a Knife. You can find my review of the book, as well as a great contest here, while the interview with Nichole is below.

I've mentioned this before but just in case you missed it, the thing I love most about blog tours are the author interviews. That's when you get a glimpse into not only how and why the book was written, but also into the author's personality. So ... here we go, on with the fun!

A Few Interesting Facts about Nichole

1. She likes raspberry muffins. In fact, she likes almost any flavor muffin as long as it doesn't have walnuts.

2. Her favorite food is snow crab. And her favorite place to eat it? Well, that would be on a tropical island, of course, because Nichole loves balmy, island breezes.

3. When it comes to TV, Nichole has a few different shows she likes, but one of her favorites is watching the Food Network.

4. Two things that Nichole wishes? That she could play the guitar, and that she could hire a housekeeper. And the housekeeper, I'm sure, is so she can keep writing and not have to stop to clean the house!


Interview with D.N. (Nichole) Giles

Q: I see that this is a true story. How did you find out about it?

NG: This is actually a family story. The main character is my grandpa. I remember hearing during my childhood that he’d been kidnapped in the past. Actually, he was kidnapped or held hostage three times total in his life, which makes the story all that much more interesting to me.


Q: What made you want to write the story?

NG: After my grandpa died, I was reading his life history and this particular incident really stood out to me. I decided to write it as an article at first, but there was so much information, and so much research involved when it came to finding the facts that it turned into a book.

Q: Did it require a lot of research?

NG: Yes, it did. I started out with a handful of newspaper articles and about two pages worth of journal accounts from my grandpa, and somewhere in the mix there was a court subpoena. From there I called the police departments involved, but because the case was so old—fifty years—they referred me to the national archives in Denver. From there, I was able to get someone to help me track down the case and all the evidence and court documents. Interestingly, the knife used in the kidnapping, as well of some of the other evidence, is still there, and will remain there forever. Or at least, that’s what I’m told.

Q: That’s a lot of work. Did you have to do anything else?

NG: No, I didn’t have to, but I felt a need to so I actually did some more digging and tracked down one of the kidnappers. I wrote him a letter, asking him about the situation, and not really expecting a response. So, I was completely shocked when a week later this guy called me and talked to me on the phone for about an hour, telling me his side of things. He was very remorseful and teary. Very apologetic. It was probably the most profound conversation I’ve ever had.

Q: After all that, how long did it take you to actually write this book?

NG:
It was actually a fairly long process all things considered. From beginning to end, it took me almost three years to get from the inception of the idea to publication. And there was a lot that happened in between, including me working on two other major projects at the same time. All in all, though, I’m thrilled with how it turned out.

Q: Where can we learn more about The Sharp Edge of a Knife?

NG:
You can read the first chapter at my website, http://sharpedgeofaknife.blogspot.com/. My author bio is also there, with a few interesting facts pertaining to the story.

Q: Where can this book be purchased?

NG: Right now it’s definitely available on Amazon, and I’m told it will be in select stores sometime in the next few weeks, if not already. My official book launch promotion is scheduled for March 27th from 1-3:00 pm at Eborn books in the Provo Towne Center mall in Provo Utah. It’s open to the public, and going to be lots of fun. Readers can also watch my blog for more signing dates.

Q: What are some of your future projects?

NG: Right now I'm looking for an agent for my next book, a young adult paranormal romance about a young woman who has a special ability to heal people. She discovers her ability is a threat, not only to her and her family, but to a whole lot of other people when the leader of an ancient demon army, who hungers to rule the modern world, decides he needs her heart and blood to restore him to power.

Along with submitting that project, I'm working on a sequel, as well as another YA book that involves a couple of misfit kids and some mermaids. That one is still very much in the rough-rough draft stage, though.

Q: Thank you for for the interview, Nichole!

NG: You're welcome.


Book Review for "Wrong Number"

Tidmore did the job, and the body is hidden in the manhole on 32nd Street, like we talked about. ~ From Wrong Number by Rachelle J. Christensen.




Blurb from the Jacket of Wrong Number


When Aubree Stewart receives a mysterious phone call on her way to work, she doesn't know what to think when the caller mentions a dead body. At first she assumes it's some kind of prank. But the call isn't a practical joke, and Aubree soon finds herself swept up in a world of danger, intrigue, and murder. With help from the FBI, Aubree races to protect herself and what's left of her family, but the one thing she forgets to protect is her own heart.

How long can she run? How long can she hide? And how will she discover who is chasing her?

What Other People are Saying about Wrong Number

"A gripping plot that revs its engines on page one, accelerates with each new chapter, and doesn't come to a stop until you close the book at its satisfying conclusion."

ToriAnn Perkey, editor.

"Rachelle Christensen has penned an exciting novel that will hook readers from the accidental discovery of a dead body to the thrilling and unexpected climax, with lots of twists and turns along the way. Don't expect to get a lot of sleep with this one. If the thrills of the chase don't get you, the thrills of the heart will. An excellent debut. I'll be looking for more by this author."

Jeffrey S Savage, author of the Shandra Covington mystery series and the FarWorld fantasy series.

My Opinion of Wrong Number

Wrong Number is a fast-paced, romantic suspense novel that kept me on the edge of my seat. When the main character, Aubree, receives a wrong number call on the cell phone, she ultimately ends up running for her life, no longer sure of whom she can trust.

The author, Rachelle Christensen, managed to warm my heart with romance one minute, and chill it with worry the next. The book was a page turner, and I must say that one scene, in an ice cave, almost caused me to pace the floor in anxiety. Wrong Number is a must read for those who love having romance in their suspense novels—a five-star, clean and yet exciting, love story.

The book is available at Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, and other books stores.

About the Author

Rachelle J. Christensen was born and raised in a small farming town in Idaho. She graduated cum laude from Utah State University with a bachelor's degree in psychology and a minor in music.

Rachelle loves spending time with her family and writing every minute she can. She also enjoys singing and songwriting, playing the piano, running, motivational speaking, and of course reading.

Her books include a romantic suspense novel, Wrong Number, and a nonfiction book, Lost Children: Coping with Miscarriage.

Rachelle is enjoying all the opportunities to be a social butterfly. You can follow her on Twitter at twitter.com/rachellewrites and check out her potpourri of postings on her blog:www.rachellewrites.blogspot.com and www.copingwithmiscarriage.blogspot.com.

[Disclosure: Although I do know the author and received a review copy of the book, I wasn’t compensated otherwise.. My opinions about the book are my own.]

-----© Cindy Beck, 2010-----

"The Sharp Edge of a Knife" Blog Tour, Giveaway, and Book Review



To celebrate the release of The Sharp Edge of a Knife, D.N. (Nichole) Giles has put together an exciting giveaway, with several opportunities to win. Before entering, please be sure to read the entry requirements, below, as they may vary slightly at different stops on the blog tour!

Since Nichole's book deals a lot with making choices, the prizes all have something to do with choice. Among the prizes Nichole has been collecting, Lisa at Watches by Lisa has agreed to sponsor the giveaway by donating a custom-made beaded watch and face. Head on over to her blog and take a look at the incredible selection at www.watchesbylisa.blogspot.com.

Watches by Lisa

So, choice number one: the winner gets to choose a watch band and face so that their watch is personalized to their tastes and fashion needs.

Nichole realizes that a beaded watch is not exactly a prize to be coveted by a bunch of masculine men (though it makes a great gift for the woman or girl in your life), which is why she’s also giving away more great stuff. Check out the following really cool prizes:

1. Choice between: An autographed copy of the New York Times number one, bestselling novel, Wings by Aprilynne Pike—or—a non-autographed copy of The Darwin Awards, Intelligent Design by Wendy Northcutt—or—a numbered, autographed copy of Recovering Charles by Jason F. Wright. Click here to learn more about Wings, here to read about The Darwin Awards, and here to find out about Recovering Charles.

2. Choice between: A $25 gift certificate to the Restaurant Morelia in Murray, UT (Sorry out-of-state peeps, this is local to Utah) or $25 worth of vinyl lettering by Whaddayawannasay Vinyl Lettering—you choose your quote or phrase.

Bonus prizes, continued (that might interest author types):

3. You may substitute any of the above selections with the following incredible opportunity: The chance to sit in on a critique session with Nichole's wonderful, amazing, incredible critique group. While there, you will be treated to not one, but six critiques on the first chapter of your work in progress. This is no ordinary group. They have in their midst some fabulous authors including Tristi Pinkston, acquisitions editor for Valor publishing and author of the Secret Sisters series; Danyelle Ferguson, freelance editor for Ferguson Authors Editing & Review Services, and author of (dis)Abilities and the Gospel—who will edit via internet, since she actually lives in Kansas—Heather Justesen, author of The Ball’s In Her Court and the upcoming release, Rebound; Kimberly Job, author of I’ll Know You By Heart; Keith Fisher, up and coming author of women’s fiction and plotting genius; and Nichole Giles, also known as D.N. Giles.

**If enough people enter this contest, Nichole reserves the right to choose extra winners and give away some, or all, of the prizes left after the first three winners have made their choices.

Entries will be accepted between March 15th and April 3rd. On April 5th, Nichole will announce the contest winners on her blog.

Entry requirements:

1. You must be a follower of both my (Cindy--C.L.--Beck) blog and Nichole’s blog. Click to follow Cindy's blog, in the sidebar at the right. Nichole's can be found here and you can click to follow in her sidebar as well. You MUST leave a comment here, at Cindy's blog, stating the name under which you've clicked as a follower on Cindy's blog, regardless of whether you're a new follower or have previously signed up to follow. (I know this seems nit-picky, but I've recently spent a lot of time, on a different contest, tracking down followers who commented under one name and followed under another.)

2. You must leave a comment at my (Cindy--C.L.--Beck) blog telling me which prize you want to win and why.

3. For those wishing to win the watch, you must go to Watches by Lisa and become a follower, then come back and tell me which watch combination is your favorite.

Extra entries: Each extra entry requires a separate comment on this (Cindy's) blog!

1. Blog about this contest, then come back and leave either a url address or a link in a comment.

2. Twitter this contest, tell me where to find your tweet in a comment.

3. Follow me on Twitter and leave your Twitter link here.

4. Follow Nichole on Twitter and leave your Twitter link here.

5. Facebook the contest. If your Facebook page is private, and I’m not your friend, I can’t see that you’ve done this, so you’ll need to friend me and/or Nichole. Leave the Facebook link here.

6. Become a fan of The Sharp Edge of a Knife on Facebook. Leave a comment that you've done that.


You may enter this contest on any of the tour posts at the following blogs:

March 15th Cindy Beck, review
March 16th David J. West, review, interview
March 17th Cindy Beck, interview
March 18th Tristi Pinkston, review
March 19th Rachelle Christensen, review
March 22nd Shanda, LDS Women’s Book Review
March 23rd Kimberly Job, review
March 23rd Keith Fisher, interview
March 24th Heather Justesen, review
March 25th Christine Bryant, review
March 25th Connie Hall, interview
March 26th Kimberly Job, interview
March 26th Heather Justesen, interview
March 27th Keith Fisher, review
March 28th Ali Cross, review
March 29th Rachelle Christensen, interview
March 30th Heather Gardener, Fire and Ice Book Reviews
March 31st Danyelle Ferguson review, interview


BOOK REVIEW FOR THE SHARP EDGE OF A KNIFE




Blurb from the book, The Sharp Edge of a Knife

Most people would have panicked, sitting bound and gagged on a boulder in the middle of the desert as I was, but for some reason, I didn't. A strange kind of reassurance washed over me from somewhere deep within. Whether it was peace that I'd go quickly, or comfort that I was being protected, I wasn't sure. When Mel Petersen leaves for work on the morning of February 7, he has no idea what awaits him. A few miles from his house, Mel picks up a pair of young men who appear to be college students, hoping to prevent them from having to walk in the cold. What Mel doesn't know is that the men are actually convicts on the run from the law who are desperate to get away by any means necessary. When one of his passengers holds a knife to Mel's throat, he has no choice but to submit to the demands of the criminals. Mel hopes he has what it takes to talk his captors into letting him live so he can return to his wife and children, but fears they will kill him before he has the chance. Based on a true story, The Sharp Edge of a Knife follows Mel and his captors on an unforgettable ride that will have you questioning the depth of your faith and sitting on the edge of your seat as it grabs your attention from the first sentence and keeps you riveted until the very end.

What Other People Are Saying

The Sharp Edge of a Knife is a story of faith, perseverance, and one man's determination to make it back to his wife and children at every cost but that of his integrity. ~Tristi Pinkston, author of Agent in Old Lace and others.

I found The Sharp Edge of the Knife to be a compelling and inspirational story. The example of grace under fire will help everyone, and to realize the story is true punctuates that inspiration. It’s a good read. ~Keith Fisher, author, reviewer

From the first page, I was pulled into this true account of unbelievable courage and faith. Nichole Giles has crafted an incredible story based on Mel Peterson’s harrowing kidnap and life-threatening events in such a compelling style, there was no escape until I reached the satisfying ending. ~Rachelle J. Christensen, author of Wrong Number

My Opinion of The Sharp Edge of a Knife

From the moment I started reading The Sharp Edge of a Knife, I was caught up in the suspense, drama, and intrigue of the circumstances under which Mel Peterson, an unassuming LDS Institute/Seminary director, becomes held against his will. Mel's kindness toward others is the reason for him picking up the two young men, who are hitchhiking on the side of the road, but it's his faith that will get him through the nightmare ... the nightmare of being kidnapped, bound, and left in the desert to die.

The Sharp Edge of a Knife is a compelling tale of one man's faith and courage in the face of extreme danger. Author, Nichole Giles, weaves a gripping story that will have the reader sitting on the edge of her seat, wishing for the ability to read in super speed in order to find out what happens next.

I love the accuracy with which Giles relates this unforgettable story of her grandfather's kidnapping. Her depiction of the fear and anxiety Mel experienced, plus her descriptions of the car ride, and ultimately the desert where Mel was left to die, combined to make me feel as if I were right there with Mel ... right at the sharp edge of the knife!

About the Author

Nichole Petersen Giles is the daughter of Joseph Petersen, Mel and Jeneal's second child and firstborn son. Nichole was born in Nevada , and moved with her parents to a number of cities in and around the Midwest, mostly staying in Utah , Nevada , Arizona, and snatches of time in Texas . Her early career plans included becoming a megastar actress or a rock star, but she decided instead to have a family and then become a writer, in that order. Writing is her passion, but she also loves to spend time with her family, travel, and drive in the rain with the convertible top down. Her first book Mormon Mishaps and Mischief, an anthology of humorous anecdotes, was released in December 2009 by Cedar Fort Inc. and can be found online and wherever LDS books are sold. Some of her other work has been published in Highlights for Children, The Friend, and Boys' Quest, and she blogs regularly at www.nicholegiles.blogspot.com. For more information about Nichole or her work, contact her at writenichole@gmail.com.

[Disclosure: Although I do know the author, I was not compensated in any way for this review, and my opinion of the book expresses my own feelings.]