A Punny Monday ... posted by Cindy Beck

(Keywords: Cindy Beck, puns, punny, jokes, King Arthur, Aleutian, Knight in Rusty Armour, humorous writing, humorous blog, humor blog, funny, smile, laugh, humor)

Puns—ya gotta love 'em. Or maybe groan at 'em. With the exception of a few unpunny people, however, everyone enjoys reading them.

With that end in mind, I’ve posted a list I think you’ll enjoy (author unknown, received in an email from a friend). Leave a comment and let me know which was your favorite—mine was the one about a knight at King Arthur's round table.


A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the
other, "You stay here, I'll go on a head."

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, "Keep off the Grass."

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

What's playing in my head: Knight in Rusty Armour sung by Peter and Gordon.

Looking for great LDS gifts, articles, and services? Take a minute to browse through yourLDSNeighborhood.com.

And while you're there, subscribe to their fantastic newsletter, which brings you articles, products, services, resources and interviews from around the world—all with an LDS focus. Neighborhood Newsletter Subscriptions are FREE, and joining is easy.



Triple Nickel said...

That was funny. Just remember what they say, "When the chips are down, the cow is empty!"
Thanks for a fun blog.

Anonymous said...

Those are hilarious! A couple of them took me a minute, but I got them all eventually!

Rachelle Christensen said...

These are punny--I mean funny! :)
I wanted to tell you about an awesome contest I entered at
The Original Scrapbox Check it out and please vote for me, #319 for the cutest craft giveaway. Thanks a bunch!

Nichole Giles said...

So funny! I love puns like that. Great to put them in a blog.


Watchman said...

That was great, but I missed the one about Nantucket -- oh wait, that's different.

Why not have a contest and see which of your visitors can come up with the funniest?

Anna Maria Junus said...

My favorite was the baseball. Laughed out loud at that one.

Cheri J. Crane said...

Still laughing . . . I'll have to memorize a couple of those, especially the one about Alaska for my youngest son. (He worked there one summer.)

Cathy said...

Great puns, Cindy. I used to have a clone, but she had a swearing problem. It got so embarrassing that I decided to push her off a bridge. Somebody saw me and I got arrested for making an obscene clone fall.

Slamdunk said...

Funny list--my favs are the baseball and chicken puns.

Girl Tornado said...

Most definitely the chicken crossing the road. :)

And thanks for the suggestion re: my misty country lane photo. Great idea. I've had more sales at my Zazzle site lately, so I want to spend some time this week adding more stuff. It's encouraging when people buy stuff from you! :) :)

Cindy Beck, author said...

Triple Nickel, Weston, Rachelle, Nichole, Watchman, Anna, Cheri, Cathy, Slamdunk,and Oz Girl: Thanks for stopping by and leaving your thoughts. I get a kick out of reading your comments! Glad you all liked the puns.

As for Watchman's suggestion to have a contest ... well, I have one running right now, but it's not about puns. Thanks for the suggestion, though. I'll hang onto the idea for the future!

Anonymous said...

My favourite:
Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. He also was quite a spiritual person. Even when he was not on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. Due to this diet, he wound up with very bad breath. Therefore, he came to be known as a . . .

Super calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.