Back in the days of Velociraptors, when people working in corporate offices used to type on those ancient business machines known as typewriters, someone gave my hubby a list called, "The 6 Phases of a Project." That probably was in 1922, and I just recently ran across it in his home office on Wednesday.
(Shhh, don't tell him I said this but it shows how often he de-junks the business memos in his drawers. No, wait! I don't mean he de-junks in his drawers ... as in jockey shorts drawers, but that he seldom de-junks the stuff in his desk drawers!) (Whew, glad I straightened that out.)
Anyway, so this is a man who still has his matching baby hat and coat tucked away in his dresser. And who probably has ticket stubs to the first movie we ever attended together. Kinda sweet, really. Except...
He also has old, hole-y sweatshirts in his closet and a cap advertising a farm implement company from 30 years ago. I refused to allow the dusty ol' thing in the house, and made him put it in the garage.
Yet ... here's food for thought. I'm becoming a bit old and dusty myself, and he hasn't thrown me out or even hung me in the garage, so perhaps I'd better not complain.
And now that I've digressed sufficiently for the moment, let's get back to the phases of a business project. You're gonna love it!
6 Phases of a Business Project
4. Search for the guilty.
5. Punishment for the innocent.
6. Praise and honors for the non-participants. ~ Author unknown
If you have a second, drop off a comment saying which line you felt was funniest (a.k.a. "true"). My favorite was #5, "Punishment for the Innocent." ------
In keeping with my totally-regretted, capriciously-decided, dangerously-flawed, impetuous, impulsive, not-well-thought-out, rash promise to post one joke a day until Valentine's Day, here's the last one ...
Valentine's Joke (final one)
Personal Ad in the Newspaper
Single black female seeks male companionship for Valentine's day, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good kisser, and a girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (405) 555-1234 and ask for Daisy.
Over 12,000 "Romeos" phoned and found themselves talking to the Humane Society about a 7-week-old Labrador retriever puppy.
Men are so easy....
(Note: Although Snopes.com says the above story isn't necessarily true--any Humane Society would be nuts to run it because of all the mislead callers they'd get--it's still funny.)
And finally, for something that's fun but isn't fiction on this Valentine's Day, take the "Who Said It?" quiz. You'll get a kick out of it.
With Valentine's Day coming, I've decided to undertake an ambitious task. Nope, I'm not climbing the tallest mountain, swimming the roughest seas, nor crossing Main St. against the light. I'm committing to something I've never done before ...
Posting a Valentine's joke a day for an entire week!
No, no, please. No applause. Just throw gold, which according to the commercials is going to skyrocket as soon as I empty my 401K to buy it.
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
From: Will and Guy's Funny Clean Jokes (I don't know about you, but I'm rolling on the floor over that one. Ah yes, simple jokes posted by a gal with a simple mind.)
In addition to today's joke, there's a poll to take. Don't you just love polls? They give the chance to express an opinion without your teenagers arguing with you. Valentine's Poll
Ever wanted to kill your spouse because he/she keeps interrupting something you're trying to do? If so, you'll get a charge out of Cindy's latest published story, "Texting on Ice" in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Hooked on Hockey.